FET recap

Yesterday was transfer day.  All went well.  Here are the details of the day.
We woke up and had breakfast in the hotel.  Them I went upstairs to the clinic for my blood draw.  I had 3 nurses attend based on what happened last time.  I'm happy to report that it only took one poke and in the forearm.  I was in and out in 10 min.  That was a huge relief.
We then continued our photo taking quest from the day before.  We visited Thomas Bata University, the college where our donor attended.  We found a very small book store that sold shirts and sweatshirts, but none in Duncan's size.  They did however sell a beach ball so we were able to purchase something. We then walked to a farmers market that we had found the last time we were here and took pictures there as well.  Duncan was happy to find a guy selling popcorn.  Lastly we walked over to the oldest house in town which we had also discovered the last time we were here.  The one thing we found this time, that we missed last time was the main square.  Obviously its very small.   We had walked on the street in front of it last time.  It had several shops,  cafes and coffee shops.  We wandered around there taking more pictures until it was time for my appointment.
Next up was our appointment with embryology and with Anna our coordinator. She is the English speaking contact we have and has been a huge help through the process both times.  I was so excited for Duncan to meet her.  Without exaggeration,  I bet I've exchanged at least 500 emails with her if not more.  She was our life line through all of this.  We brought her a gift as a thank you and it was so very sweet to have Duncan give it to her.  I asked if she would hold him so I could take a photo of them together and I got some really great ones.
We then got down to business.  OUR EMBRYOS SURVIVED THE THAW!!!! They both started hatching right before the time of transfer. 

I only have a dark and grainy photo.  I'm going to ask for a better one tomorrow and see if they took any other pictures.  But who cares, our little embryos awoke and started growing and that's the first huge step.  I also got my progesterone numbers back and they were 131.  No need to change any medication so just going to stay on our current protocol until I go for more blood work.
After our meeting, Duncan and Ryan had to go.  They wouldn't be allowed in for transfer and it was lunchtime anyways so they headed off. Anna gave Duncan a big kiss on the cheek and he said goodbye. I hugged and kissed both my guys and they left in search of a park and lunch.
They don't offer acupuncture here so I was unable to get treatment before or after transfer which is what I would do back home.  At the wellness center they did offer a head and shoulder massage.  I thought that would be a good idea before the transfer.  That was a big mistake.  There was nothing wrong with the massage, but I was just a ball of nerves and it made it so very hard to lay still.  It was almost torture more than relaxing.  Finally it was over and I could move around.

I went back to the room to get ready for transfer.  They ask that you wear just a shirt and then your robe and slippers.  I put on my dream big socks and headed to transfer.

They have a waiting room you sit in before transfer that is a room with a few beds.  I waited in that room for about 45 minutes.  There was one lady before me.  It was nice to have some extra time alone.  I sat down and listened to a few short guided meditations.  Then I did a bunch of squats and sit ups and then some yoga poses and finally some stretching.  This all really helped calm me down.

Finally it was my turn.  They escorted me into the operating room.  There were two nurses.  One doing the work and another one to translate what was going on in English.  Then the doctor came in and we went over what was going to happen.   Confirmed that we were transfering two and using Embryoglue.  Then the embryologist cane in and introduced herself.  That's when she informed me that they both had started to hatch and said she would show me on the monitor.  She left and went into the lab and shortly after, on the monitor were these two gorgeous embryos.  It brought tears to my eyes to see them.  I then laid back, feet up and the transfer began.  The only thing different this time from all the other times is the embryologist participated in transferring the embryos. The doctor set everything up and then she came back with the pipette containing our embryos.  She was the one to actual place them.  Then she left to confirm they were both gone and the pipette was empty, which it was.  She then said good luck, squeezed my hand and left.  The doctor also wished me well and left. Then the two nurses wheeled my gurney back into my room.  There was a small mishap where they took a corner too close and knocked a chunk of drywall off.  Both Ryan and Duncan think this is hilarious and laugh every time they pass it.  They then transferred me to my bed and instructed me to lay still for an hour.  It's a lot easier to do that in your own bed than in the uncomfortable bed with stirrups that usually happens.  So I laid back and watched the latest Kevin Hart standup.  It was the perfect mindless activity.  Shortly after I took a nap.  I laid in bed the rest of the afternoon and evening as I have now entered the bed rest position of all this.  The boys shared a burger for dinner and I again indulged in peanuts and a granola bar.  We all went to bed shortly after.  Now just hoping and praying for a successful implantation.  Stick babies stick!

Day 10 - FET Day

Today is the big day!  It's 4am here now and of course I can't sleep.  So much going on.
In a few short hours (around 10pm California time) the embryologist will wake our embryos from their deep sleep from the last 3 years.  Hopefully they had a great nap and are ready to go to work.  That's the first big obstacle,  surviving the thaw. 
Then at 11am our time (2am California time) we meet with the embryologist to find out their status.  We had 2 perfectly graded embryos going into the freeze and hopefully that's what we get out.
Then at 1pm our time (5am California time) I head into the operating room and transfer those embabies and welcome them home.  Then it's 1 hour in recovery trying to stay perfectly still and then after that it's the waiting game.
So today is the day.  Pray that our little ones find comfort and want to stick around for about the next 39 or so weeks.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Brno

Today starts my official bed rest period. We decided to do our bed rest in Brno. We are flying out of the Vienna airport and Brno is in between Zlin and Vienna. While we would have loved to go back to Vienna, our hotel is much less expensive here. We actually have a suite with an office, a living room and two bathrooms which is not a bad way to do bed rest.

I went down for breakfast earlier and that's all I plan on doing today. Ryan ventured out to explore a bit of what Brno has to offer.

Through this whole process, I find it very difficult to hear when people say that I am brave or that we are brave. I don't feel like I am at all. I still break down and cry often and find it to be a very difficult journey but I don't feel like I have a choice. Quitting just isn't an option. So I plow along, going through the motions and doing what I have to do with several freak outs and tears along the way.  I brought this book to read while on bed rest to give me some inspiration of actual strong women.

Thanks for reading,
HEATHER

Transfer Day

Today started as predicted. Ryan and I handle stress very differently. He sleeps a lot and I don't sleep at all. So I've been up since about 3 am. The IF PTSD is a tough thing to shake. Everytime I gear up to do this again, all my brain thinks of is the last failure and keeps replaying that in my head. I am trying very hard to push those thoughts away.
I figured since I was up I would start my morning medication routine. I starts with my thyroid pill that I can only take on an empty stomach.  Then I wait an hour, then I ate something in order to take all my pills that I have to take with food.
Next up is getting ready for the transfer. We needed to bring our meds, our clothing for the transfer, our paperwork, my meditation tapes from Jeneanne for post transfer and my good luck stone, egg and St. Gerard card and last but not least, a crazy pair of transfer socks.

Next stop, back to the Tomosov for bloodwork. That went fine, except when I left I ran into the wife of the husband that was mentioned earlier that wore underwear and slippers and she too was wearing her pajamas and slippers. I didn't have my phone handy so I couldn't snap a photo of that.

Next up, downstairs for a hearty breakfast. They make some really awesome fresh smoothies here. I ordered the pineapple and mint.

Next we explored Zlin because we had about two hours to kill. We walked around the very small city center. There was a farmers market and several little shops. We found the University where our donor came from. For a brief moment I looked around to see if anyone fit her description but quickly got over it.

We then made the trek back up the hill for our embryologist appointment and to meet with our transfer doctor. That was the most nervous I have been the whole time. Luckily we recieved good news. We had a total of 4 embryos to work with. We decided to transfer two and freeze two. Hopefully the two frozen will be for a sibling, but if this doesn't work at least we have another chance.

Next up, transfer time. We checked in and were escorted back to our recovery room

. I changed into a lovely skirt/gown and my new hopefully lucky socks.

 Ryan carried all of our lucky charms in his pocket and we waited for our final instructions. Next came in Anna, my coordinator who went over all of results and protocols. She gave us my blood test results and ryan sperm test results, all in English for our files and our doctor back home. We also ordered all of our final medications. The best news was that my progesterone levels were high enough that I didn't need to supplement with PIO!!!!! One less shot so I'm happy.

We transfered the two embryos and then they wheeled us back to our recovery bed. We had the 4 bed room to ourselves. I put on an eye mask and put on the meditation tapes. I ended up falling asleep and ryan read a book on his nook. We stayed there about an hour and a half. Then I slowly got up and we headed to the lobby to meet our driver to our next hotel in Brno which is about an hour away. As soon as we checked in to our room, I put on my pj's and bed rest officially begins.  And now the 2WW....

Thanks for reading,
HEATHER

We Have a Green Light

We are officially moving forward with our cycle in the Czech Republic.  Today I went for an ultrasound with our clinic here in San Diego and was given the green light.  Our clinic in the Czech Republic require a lining of 7 or higher after being on estradiol for 10 days.  Today marked day 10 so off to the clinic I went at 8am.  My lining measure 10.5 and we measured 3 times to make sure.  As a side note my AFC was 9.  I swear they were just there mocking me.  So I sent off my ultrasound pictures and results and received an email back from my clinic in the Czech Republic saying:

Your lining is excellent. Please, continue with the medication schedule without any change.

 Look forward to see you soon.

So off to the Czech Republic we go.  First we are heading to Budapest to get in a quick 4 day vacation before the whole process starts.  Here is our anticipated timeline:

April 9th - 12th - Budapest
April 13th - Ultrasound and Blood work at the Zlin clinic to make sure my lining and estrogen and progesterone levels are correct
April 14th - Egg retrieval from donor
April 15th - 18th Vienna
April 19th - transfer
April 19th - 22nd - bed rest in BRNO
April 23rd - home

We appreciate all the love and support we have recieved.  We can really use your prayers and well wishes in the next several days especially on the 19th.  CZ is 9 hours ahead so we are guessing our transfer will happen at around 1am or 2am west coast time.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Bedrest

The first week of the 2WW was ok.  I kept myself busy, visited with friends and had family come over.  Went to the movies twice.  Went to gentle flow yoga and modified about half the class.  Went on a couple walks a day to increase blood flow. Not only is that allowed, but it is encouraged.  It wasn't easy but I did manage to get through the days ok.

Over the weeknd, Ryan and I went on another walk.  It was very casual and very slow paced always making sure not to increase my heart rate.  Nothing was out of the ordinary.  When we came home, I noticed I was bleeding.  My heart just sank to the floor.  It lasted a few hours.   I cried for a bit, and now I am just numb.  I haven't had any bleeding since then, but I've had bad cramps non-stop.  The bummer about cramps at this phase is it could go either way, it could be the beginning of my period or implantation cramps.  So I don't even know if I should be happy or sad about it.

From experience and from friends experiences, I knew to go on moderate bed rest immediately.  I called the clinic first thing in the morning and they put me on strict bed rest.  I can lay and sit and get up to go to the bathroom, but that is it.  So if I thought the first week was tough, this one is just going to be awful.

I went from feeling very hopeful to just a feeling of defeat.  This October marked 4 years of suffering and dealing with infertility,  I went to my first doctor to discuss infertility in Oct 2011.  Enough is enough.  It is inhumane to live like this anymore.  4 years of drugs and shots that make you crazy and you feel awful.  I just can't do this anymore.  And I'm not even touching on the financial toll that this has taken on us.  We are still hoping and praying for our miracle but I now fear the worst.

Thanks for reading,

HEATHER