Thursday, April 30, 2015

Cycle Day 9

Today's symptoms: headache again, very bloated stomach (started wearing my IVF pants), very very tired, emotional and weight gain has moved to +5lbs.

During my very first IVF cycle, my doctor warned that most people get a very bloated stomach and he recommended having a pair of pants that are one size bigger than normal on hand.  I didn't think I needed that and ignored his advice.  By Day 14 of stims I was miserable and regretted not having bigger pants.  I ended up wearing pjs to that ER.  Since then I have purchased a pair of jeans, a pair of pajamas and a pair of yoga pants all one size bigger and it makes it so much easier.  Not only is your stomach bigger and bloated, but it is full of bruises and it is rock hard.  The thought of wearing tight pants is horrifying.  Today I officially switched to my IVF pants and as I type this I am wearing my big yoga pants.
another bloodwork/us appt.

Last night we started Ganerelix.  This is officially the start of the end of the cycle so we were so excited to get the good news.  At yesterday's check up they are still counting 16 follicles plus a few too small to count. The most we have ever had is 15 at the day of retrieval. They are 9 - 14mm each.  I have found out through switching clinics that not all clinics measure the same way.  SDFC measures the longest side of the follicle.  RPMG takes an average of two measurements.  Therefore my 14mm follicle at SDFC is much larger than what it would measure at RPMG.  Just because we have 16+ follicles doesn't mean that we will get 16+ eggs, not every follicle has an egg.  My bloodwork came back and my E was 642 which is a little low for me.  They are guessing I will stim 14 days which would take us to Tuesday and ER on Thursday.  We are going back tomorrow to get a more accurate calendar of the next few days.

Today I sat home and waited for my next set of meds to be delivered.  After my first cycle, I've never ordered all the meds at once.  That cycle was almost cancelled halfway through.  Now I order enough meds to make it to the second monitoring appointment.  Once I get the OK that the cycle is doing well and that I'm progressing, I order the rest of the meds.  I use MDR pharmacy and they ship overnight for free as long as you spend $500 and we all know that is nowhere near a problem.  Now I have enough meds to make it to Day 12.  If I go over I order one day at a time.  The last thing I want is leftover meds.

This was my ceiling view from the exam room yesterday.  Each room has a different picture.

Thanks for reading,

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Cycle Day 8

Today's symptoms: headache is still there ugh!, slightly nauseous, bloated stomach, tired, emotional and the weight gain has started +4lbs.  

Yesterday was great.  I felt a million times better after acupuncture. After being sick for so many days in a row, it was so nice to be able to eat lunch again.  The worst symptom I have is a headache that just won't quit, but I always get a headache so it wasn't a shock. 

Last night we went to hear Meb Keflezighi speak.  He is the 2014 winner of the Boston Marathon.  He has written a book called Meb for Mortals.  His book is about setting goals and preparation and hard work.  He was a great speaker, very funny and has an amazing story to tell.  The hard part was hearing that if you set goals and do everything you can, thats how you can make your goals become reality.  And yes, I understand that he meant physical goals but all I kept thinking was that I have done literally all that I can do.  Where is my payoff?  

The hard part over the next several days will be dealing with the emotions that are bubbling over the surface.  While the drugs do make me a bit crazy and heighten all the emotions, the emotions are there and would be there, with or without drugs.  It's really hard being stuck in this situation and feeling that I am doing all that I can and I am not getting results that I want from all this effort.  Then you turn on the tv and watch the news and it is filled with all these horrible stories with horrible people and they all have kids.  It's so unfair.  It feels so unfair.  We all say that it is unfair, but that doesn't change the situation.  Children are everywhere and all I can think is 'why not me?', 'why not us'?  And to add salt to the wound, Mother's Day is coming up and it is a stab to the heart reminder that I'm not one.  I keep getting emails about Mother's Day brunch and hurry and buy Mother's day gifts.  The advertisers just won't quit.  So yesterday I cried about 5 or 6 times over various things.  
Having a great support systems is really helpful during times like this.  I have friends I've met online, my support group here, my acupuncturist, my friends outside of the infertility community, my dog, my family and most of all my husband.  It takes all these shoulders for me to lean on to get through the next week or two.

Thanks for reading,

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Cycle Day 7

Today's symptoms: headache in the am, nauseous until acupuncture, stomach slightly bloated and very very tired.  

Great news, the new protocol worked!  I didn't get sick once last night.  We did two vials of Bravelle this morning and will do the rest tonight.  So hopefully we reached the halfway mark, but one never knows how long they will stim for. You have to keep setting goals and celebrating the small accomplishments.  It's the only way to survive this whole thing.

Today was a great day for one reason, ACUPUNCTURE.  Acupuncture is the most amazing thing and I was counting down the minutes until I walked in for my appointment.  It took my headache away and drastically reduced my nausea almost instantly.  Acupuncture is such a personal thing that you really need to find someone you like and trust.  I loved the place I went to in Los Angeles and was lucky to find an equally amazing woman here in San Diego (details for both are below in case you live in either area).

I have been going to acupuncture for a long time now.  I used to go for pain in my leg and then switched over to fertility focused practices.  I often laugh at the comic situations I find myself in.  I faint immediately at the sight of blood and needles, no joke, so many times I have lost track.  Now I go to acupuncture and get needles stuck in me on a weekly basis, I get blood taken every other day and Ryan gives me shots morning and night.  The irony of it all!  Anyways, because of my aversion to needles, I was very apprehensive over treatments.  First off, there is absolutely no pain from these needles, you hardly even feel them.  Secondly, I always tell them that I can't see anything and they put an eye mask on and I drift away to relaxation city.  When they come back in, they remove all the needles and then the eye mask.  I have yet to see one needle.  Oh and I get about 10 - 20 needles all over each treatment.  It is nothing like what Charlotte got on Sex & the City and none are in my face.

Fingers crossed my shots go well tonight and the worst is behind me :) 

Los Angeles acupuncture -  Denise Wiesner, L.Ac., FABORM
San Diego acupuncture - Jeneanne Paden, L.Ac

Thanks for reading,

Monday, April 27, 2015

Cycle Day 6

Today's symptoms: headache (not as bad as yesterday), only threw up once, nauseous only in the morning, stomach starting to get slightly bloated, emotions are starting to accelerate too, crying over TV and movies has commenced (and not even necessarily sad things), started to get really tired

Today's progress : FC 16 - 20 they are still a bit too small to count accurately.  They are 3 - 8 mm.  Estrogen is 252.

We went to the doctors at 7:30am.  We like the first appointment because we get it over with and they are usually right on time.  I mean, how far behind can you be with your first patient?  (don't answer that RPMG!)

Night time is the worst time.  Within 30 min of the shots, I get sick and I stay feeling sick all night long and into the morning.  I wake up feeling much better and then the countdown begins until the next dreaded shot.  I spoke to the doctor about this and he changed my protocol.  Tonight we are going to break it up and do 2 vials of Bravelle in the am and 3 vials of Bravelle and 1 vial of Menopure and the HGH at night.  Hopefully this will make me feel much better.  In all my cycles, I have never been this sick before.

So I gave my allotment of blood and stayed by the phone waiting for the results.  I am so excited over today's FC and Estrogen levels!  Last cycle we only had 7 follicles, so we are doing much better this time around.  I am progressing at a slightly slower speed so we are probably looking at a 12 - 14 day stim cycle.  The average stim cycle is 9 - 11 days, lucky us, we are above average :(  So far we have stimmed 14 days every cycle except for the last one which was 12 days.  This is not good on so many levels, not only do I feel crappy longer, but every shot is hundreds and hundreds of dollars so it is painful on a financial level too.  

I am still super happy over my levels and knowing that I am about 1/2 way to being done.  Trying to focus on the bright side.  The picture to the right is the ceiling tile photo that I look at when getting examined.  It's a lot better than staring at the dots on the ceiling.   

Thanks for reading,

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Cycle Day 5

Today's symptoms: horrible headache still and spent last night throwing up again

Around midnight last night we called and left a message for the nurse.  I have been sick before but nothing like this.  We received a call this morning and they basically told me that throwing up this much is really out of the ordinary and that I probably have the flu.  That is not the case.  I don't have a fever or any other flu symptoms.  Within 30 min of the shots I'm sick and it lasts several hours, but by morning I'm feeling better and it stays that way until the next round of shots.  This is so frustrating.  I have an appointment with the doctor first thing in the morning. This is the first time I have taken this amount of Bravelle all at once.  I take 5 vials at the same time.  I think they are just being lazy on a Sunday.  Frustration level is skyhigh!

Today's agenda - take a bath, change into new pajamas, watch movies on the couch with Parker.  So far I have achieved everything on the list :) 

Thanks for reading,

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Cycle Day 4

Today's symptoms: horrible headache since yesterday afternoon, spent last night throwing up several times, uncontrollable night sweats and nauseous.  

Basically I feel like I have the flu.  It is to be expected because I always Feel this way at some point.  This cycle it came a few days earlier than usual.

The answer to surviving the next few weeks is ginger, lots and lots of ginger.  I have tried everything and heard everything to try and I always come back to ginger.  It really helps and its natural to boot, so no additional pills to take, YEAH!  There are all kinds of ways to enjoy ginger.  Below are my favorite ways that seem to help take the nausea away the most.  A helpful trick is to buy a bunch of ginger, peel it, cut it into chunks and store it in the freezer (you can't store it in the fridge, it will turn color and once it does it becomes toxic and inedible).  Then when you need it, it just takes a minute.

Ginger Water - Ryan bought me this pitcher for Christmas and I have used it ever since.  When I am not cycling and I feel fine, the recipes are endless of what you could put in it.  When I feel the way I feel today, I fill the whole fruit compartment with ginger.  Sometimes I add lemon too.  I sit it out and drink it all day.  Once the ginger is in the water, you don't need to keep it refrigerated.  It is much better on your digestion to drink room temp water anyways.  I do stick the pitcher back in the fridge at night and take it back out in the morning.  I keep adding new water to it.  I only replenish the ginger once it starts to look more spongy than like ginger.  This happens around day 4 - 5.

Ginger Tea - I take a few pieces of the frozen or fresh ginger and add boiling water.  I used to add honey to it, but now I am on a low sugar diet so I skip the honey.  Today I tried a regular bag of chamomile tea and added the pieces on ginger to that and it tasted really good.  The ginger pieces can break apart so if you have a loose tea strainer, I would suggest using that.

Ginger chews - Gin Gins are ginger candy.  I can not recommend these enough.  It is delicious and really helps and it helps quickly.  The real major downside is there cane sugar in them so it does not follow my low sugar plan. They are vegan and gluten free though. But when you are feeling this crappy, a little sugar won't kill me or kill my diet.  At this point, anything that takes away the nausea and throwing up takes priority.  I purchase them at Cost Plus World Market because they always have every flavor.  You can also find them at Whole Foods and on Amazon and probably other places, but those are the ones I know for sure.

Thanks for reading,

Friday, April 24, 2015

Coming Out of the Infertility Closet

Ryan and I have been TTC since 2011 and were officially diagnosed with unexplained infertility in January 2012.  We kept this fact a secret for a very very very long time.  After being asked for what felt like the millionth time by the millionth person 'when are you guys going to start  a family, you have been married 3 years already?' we finally let our families and a very select few close friends in on what was going on.  Even though a handful of people knew what we were going through, I still felt very alone in my pain.

Then I started obsessively reading about infertility.  Luckily there is a large amount available at the library.  I would guess that I read close to 100 books on the subject and something like 500 articles.  When I say I was obsessed, I was obsessed.  It was at this point that I started to feel a little more normal about the situation.  When you suffer alone, it takes a tole.  Reading that others felt the same way I was feeling, was a huge help in keeping my sanity.  I have listed some of my favorite books below.

The next step was to join a support group.  That was in February 2014.  I went to the first few meetings alone and then Ryan started to join in as well.  This was a huge turning point in my infertility journey.  To meet others and to be able to talk about what its like living with this disease, was a huge life saver.  Shortly after that, I took over running the meeting and was happy to do it.  I still run the meeting now.  I wish everyday that I would have meet these wonderful people in a different way, but I am so grateful to have them in my life.  It has become such an amazing support system that I can't believe it took me two years to get here.  I want to shake my naive former self and say 'Get your butt to a meeting now!  It will save you so many unnecessary miserable days of feeling alone".

I got to the point where I could not spend any more energy keeping this secret.  It is what it is.  It sucks and I hate it, but it isn't something to be ashamed of.  So much of my time is spent dealing with this disease I can't spend one more moment trying to hide it.  I used the National Infertility Awareness Week as my time to come out of the infertility closet.  I sent an email to some people and publicly posted about it on facebook which I had never done before.  As soon as I did, I literally felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.  It was therapeutic and wonderful and I don't regret it at all.  There was a lot of apprehension because over the years I have been told several thing that were hurtful.  Not one of which was intentional, but hurt nonetheless.  I was showered  with support from friends and it was amazing.

As I write this blog, I hope that others get the courage to stop hiding.  It is so isolating at a time where support is so important.  And if your friends really aren't that supportive then maybe they aren't really your friends.   Good luck!

Books I recommend:

Infertility Survival Handbook   
  • Elizabeth Swire Falker
  • This book really tells it like it is.  I felt very scared going into my first IVF and this really is a handbook for what to expect.

  • What He Can Expect When She's Not Expecting 
  • Marc Sedaka
  • Gregory Rosen 
  • This is a great quick read.  It talks more from the emotional side.

  • Is Your Body Baby-Friendly?   
  • Alan E. Beer
    A real eye-opener.  This book was my first glimpse into all the other aspects of what could cause infertility aside from eggs and sperm.

    This blog has been posted to RESOLVE under the blogger campaign for NIAW called 'You Are Not Alone'.

    Thanks for reading,

    Cycle Day 3

    Today's symptoms: headache (not as bad as yesterday's), very nauseous, loss of appetite

    I probably should have mentioned before that every time I cycle I suffer a huge amount of side effects.  They are not uncommon or rare side effects, but not everyone suffers the same amount or as many of them.  If you are about to cycle for the first time, do not let this scare you, look at it as just a warning of what may happen.

    It's not all bad though.  Since this cycle I am going with Ganerelix instead of Lupron, I have 0 weight gain!  YES!!!!  That is pretty exciting.  Usually at this point I have packed on the usual 10 lbs that Lupron is so happy to provide.  Lupron, you are a mean jerk!

    Since I shared my vitamin list yesterday, today I thought I would share Ryan's.  Since we have unexplained infertility, we both take everything we possibly can in the hopes that something may help.  There is no data that proves that these will help, but they won't hurt our fertility chances.  

    Every night when we sit down for dinner, Ryan grabs this bowl with all his pills. He has been doing this about 6 months now.  He seems to have less allergies and less rashes since he started so I think something is working in the right direction.

    Zinc - 60mg - 1xday
    Selenium - 200mcg - 1xday
    Arginine - 2 - 3xday
    Folic Acid - 400 mcg - 1xday
    Vitamin C - 200-1000mq - 1xday
    Vitamin E - 600mg - 1xday
    L-carnitine- 1g three 1xday
    CoQ10 - 30-100mg - 1xday
    Maca Root - 1.5g 3xday
    Astragalus - 1500mg - 3xday
    PQQ - 10mg - 1xday

    Thanks for reading,

    Thursday, April 23, 2015

    Cycle Day 2

    Today's symptoms - Massive horrible headache.  I always get them when I'm on Menopur.  Let me know if you have found any cures because I sure haven't.

    Today I woke up with the above mentioned headache which was there when I went to sleep.  Nothing else really exciting to report on Day 2 so I thought I would walk through the hideous amount of vitamins and supplements I take.  Most of these are fertility related but some are from being a vegetarian and some are because I was recently diagnosed with candida.  I was also diagnosed anemia awhile back but that seems to be back to normal levels.

    I don't take any vitamins or supplements that contains any ingredient derived from animals.  This can prove to be very challenging.  Finding meds without gelatin is the hardest.  If you too are a vegetarian or vegan, don't hesitate to ask for specific brand names.

    First thing in the morning with a glass a water.  No eating or drinking anything else for an hour.
    L-Thyroxine (only thyroid medication a vegetarian can take) - 75mg - 1xday

    Next up - sometime in the am
    Inositol - 4.1g - 2xday

    During the rest of the day
    Probiotic - with each meal
    Digestive enzymes - with each meal

    Probiophage DF - 1xday
    PharmaGABA - 100mg - 1xday
    Milk Thistle drops - 1 ml - 1xday
    Chromium - 1 mg  - 2xday
    Calcium - 500mg - 1xday
    Algae Omega - 625mg - 1xday
    Prenatal - 1xday
    PQQ - 10mg - 1xday
    Aspirin - 81mg - 1xday
    B-12 - 2500mcg - 1xday
    5 Hydroxy-tryptophan - 100mg - 1xday
    L-Arginine - 1g - 1xday
    5 MTHF - 1mg - 1xday
    CoQ10 - 500mg - 1xday
    Basic Nutrients 2/day - 1xday
    Bromelain - 1000gdu - 1xday
    DHEA - 25mg - 3xday
    Vitamin D - 1000iu - 2xday
    Oil of Oregano - 460 mg - 1xday
    Paleo Greens - 1 scoop - 1xday
    Daily C powder - 1 scoop - 1day
    Allicin - 5000 mcg - 1day

    After dinner
    Vitamin E - 400iu - 1xday
    Iron - 150mg - 1xday
    Vitamin C - 500mg - 1xday
    HCL - 400mg - 1xday

    Before bed
    Melatonin - 1mg - 1xday

    Thanks for reading,

    Wednesday, April 22, 2015

    Cycle Day 1

    So today is officially the start of my next IVF cycle.   Leading up to today I did 5 weeks of BCPs.  This cycle I chose to do DHEA instead of testosterone gel during priming.  I have a lot of apprehension and not a lot of hope.  Having the last 4 failed, its hard to get excited.  In all likelihood this will be our last cycle so there is a lot riding on this one.  So here goes.....

    When I woke up I found a very sweet card from my husband.  It was so nice of him to think of me and realize how nervous I am about the whole thing.

    For those not in the know,  before you can start the stims, you must first visit the doctor and get the OK.  You have to do ultrasound and blood work.  The ultrasound is to check for cysts and leading follicles.  The blood work is to check that you don't have elevated estrogen.  So off to the doctors we went.

    Next stop was acupuncture.  During cycling, I go to acupuncture once a week.  I get so much out of it.  It feels great, it relaxes me and I really love my acupuncturist.

    Results came back and I am good to go.  My AFC was 15.  This was great news.  last cycle my AFC was only 7.  This cycle our protocol is 375 Bravelle with 75 Menopur and HGH.  At this point we are super pros at this.  The drill is, he prepares the shots and I ice my belly.  Once the shots are ready, we put the heated neck pillow in the microwave for 5 min.  We go upstairs, do the injections, comeback down to an aroma pillow that relaxes my tensed neck.  Here are the first 7 days of meds not including what is refrigerated.

    Today was an easy day with no side effects yet :)

    Thanks for reading,

    1 in 8

    My blog is called 'I am the 1 in 8' because 1 in 8 people of reproductive age are dealing with infertility issues and I am that 1 in 8.  Infertility is defined as not being able to conceive after trying for 12 months if you are under 35 or 6 months if you are 35 or older.

    I wrote my history using layman's terms, but going forward I will just use the common acronyms us infertile folks use.  Here are the majority of them:

     2WW 2 Week Wait
     ACA Anti-cardiolipin Antibody
     ACTH Adrenal Carticotropic Hormone
     AF Aunt Flo, After Flo, Period, or Menstrual Cycle
     AH Assisted Hatching
     AI Artificial/Assisted Insemination
     ANA Anti-nuclear Antibodies
     APA Anti-phospholipid Antibodies
     APTT Activated Partial Thrombo Time
     ART Assisted Reproductive Technology
     ASA Anti-sperm Antibody
     ASRM American Society of Reproductive Medicine
     BA Baby Aspirin
     BBT Basal Body Temperature
     BCP Birth Control Pills
     BD Baby Dance (sex)
     Beta HCG pregnancy test
     BFN Big Fat Negative
     BFP Big Fat Positive
     B/W, b/w Bloodwork
     CAH Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
     CASA Computer-assisted Semen Analysis
     CB Cycle Buddy
     CBAVD Congenital Bilateral Absence of Vas Deferens
     CCCT, CCT Clomiphene Citrate Challenge Test (Clomid Challenge Test)
     CD Cycle Day
     CF Cystic Fibrosis
     CM Cervical Mucus
     CMV Cytomegalovirus
     CNM Certified Nurse Midwife
     COH Controlled Ovarian Hyperstimulation
     CP Cervical Position
     CPFM ClearPlan Fertility Monitor (Brand Name)
     CVS Chorionic Villae Sampling
     D&C Dilation & Curettage
     D&E Dilation & Evacuation
     DE Donor Eggs
     DES Diethylstillbestrol
     DH Dear Husband
     DHEAS Dihydroepiandrosterone
     DI Donor Husband
     DIPI Direct Intra-peritoneal Insemination
     DOR Diminished Ovarian Reserve
     DPO Days Post-Ovulation
     DPR Days Post-Retrieval
     DPT Days Post-Transfer
     DP3DT Days Post 3-Day Transfer
     DP5DT Days Post 5-Day Transfer
     DW Dear Wife
     Dx Diagnosis
     E2 Estradiol
     EB, EMB Endometrial Biopsy
     ENDO Endometriosis
     EPT Early Pregnancy Test
     ER Egg Retrieval
     ET Egg Transfer
     ETA Embryo Toxicity Assay
     ETF Embryo Toxicity Factor
     FAQ Frequently Asked Questions
     FBG Fasting Blood Glucose
     FI Fasting Insulin
     FF Fertility Friend
     FHR Fetal Heart Rate
     FP Follicular Phase
     FM Fertility Mucus or Fertility Monitor
     FRED Fertility Response Early Detection (Brand Name)
     Frostie Frozen Embryo
     FSH Follicle-Stimulating Hormone
     FTTA Fertile Thoughts to All
     GD Gestational Diabetes
     GI Gastrointestinal
     GIFT Gamete Intrafallopian Transfer
     GnRH Gonadotropin-Releasing Hormone
     GP General Practitioner
     GTT Glucose Tolerance Test
     hCG, HCG Human Chorionic Gonadotropin
     hMG, HMG Human Menopausal Gonadotropin
     HCP Health Care Practitioner
     HEPA Hampster Egg Penetration Assay
     HPT Home Pregnancy Test
     HRT Hormone Replacement Therapy
     HSC Hysteroscopy
     HSG Hysterosalpingogram
     HX History
     IBT Immunobead Binding Test
     ICI Intra-cervical Insemination
     ICSI Intra-cytoplamic Sperm Injection
     IF Infertility
     IGTT Insulin and Glucose Tolerance Test
     INCIID International Council on Infertility Information Dissemination
     IM Intramuscular injections
     IOR Immature Oocyte Retrieval
     IR Insulin Resistant
     ITI Intra-tubal Insemination
     IUGR Intra-uterine Growth Retardation
     IUI Intra-uterine Insemination
     IVC Intra-vaginal Culture
     IVF/ET In Vitro Fertilization and Embryo Transfer
     IVF In Vitro Fertilization
     IVIg Intravenous Immunoglobulin
     LAD Leukocyte Antibody Detection Assay
     LAP Laparoscopy
     LH Luteinizing Hormone
     LIT Leukocyte Immunization Therapy
     LMP Last Menstrual Period (start date)
     LOL Laughing Out Loud
     LP Luteal-Phase
     LPD Luteal-Phase Defect
     LSP Low Sperm Count
    LUF, LUFS Luteinized Unruptured Follicle Syndrome
     MAI Miscarriage after Infertility
     MC, m/c, misc. Miscarriage
     MENTS Subject Matter May Be Difficult to Read
     MESA Microsurgical Epidiymal Sperm Aspiration
     MF Male Factor
     MMR Measles-Mumps-Rubella Vaccine
     MRI Magnetic Resonance Imaging
     NK Natural Killer Cells
     NORIF Non-stimulated Oocyte Retrieval In (office) Fertilization
     NP Nurse Practitioner
     NSA Non-Surgical Sperm Aspiration
     O, OV Ovulation
     OB Obstetrician
     OB/GYN Obstetrician/Gynecologist
     OC Oral Contraceptives
     OD Ovum Donor, Ovulatory Dysfunction
     OHSS Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome
     OPK Ovulation Predictor Kit
     OPT Ovulation Predictor Test
     OTC Over the Counter
     P4. Prog Progesterone
     PA Physician's Assistant
     PAI-1 Plasminogen Activator Inhibitor-1
     PAF, PANFERT Pregnancy After Infertility
     PCO Polycistic Ovaries
     PCOD Polycistic Ovarian Disease
     PCOS Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome
     PCP Primary Care Physician
     PCT Post Coital Test
     PESA Percutaneous Epididymal Sperm Aspiration
     PG Pregnant
     PGD Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis
     PI Primary Infertility
     PID Pelvic Inflamatory Disease
     PIO Progesterone In Oil
     PLI Paternal Leukocyte Immunization
     PMS Pre-menstrual Syndrome
     PMN Perinatal Mortality
     POAS Pee On A Stick
     POC Products of Conception
     POF Premature Ovarian Failure
     PROM Premature Rupture of Membranes
     PTSD Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
     PZD Partial Zona Dissection
     RE Reproductive Endocrinologist
     R-hFSH Recombinant Human Follicle Stimulating Hormone
     RI Reproductive Immunologist
     RIP Reproductive Immunophynotype
     ROS Reactive Oxygen Species
     RPL Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
     RSM Recurrent Spontaneous Abortion
     RX Prescription
     SA Semen Analysis
     SART Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology
     s/b, S/B Stillbirth
     SCORIF Stimulated Cycle Oocyte Retrieval
     SHG, SonoHSG Sonohysterogram
     SI Secondary Infertility
     SLE Systemic Lupus Erythematosus
     SPA Sperm Penetration Assay
     SPALS Subsequent Pregnancy After a Loss Support
     S/S Signs/Symptoms
     STD Sexually Transmitted Disease
     SubQ Subcutaneous Injection
     SUZI Sub-zonal Insertion
     T1 Type 1 Diabetic - Juvenile Diabetes
     T2 Type 2 Diabetic - Insulin Resistant, Adult Onset
     T4 Thyroxine
     TEBG Testosterone-Estradiol Binding Globulin
     TDI Therapeutic Donor Insemination
     TESA Testicular Sperm Aspiration
     TDI Therapeutic Sperm Extraction
     TET Tubal Embryo Transfer
     TL Tubal Ligation
     TORCH Toxoplasmosis, Other, Rubella, Cytomegalovirus & Herpes Test
     TR Tubal Reversal
     TRH Thyroid Releasing Hormone
     TSH Thyroid Stimulating Hormone
     TTC Trying To Conceive
     TTCAR Trying to Conceive After Reversal
     TX Treatment
     TZD Thiazolidinediones
    UR Urologist
     US Ultrasound
     UTI Urinary Tract Infection
     V Vasectomy
     VR Vasectomy Reversal
     WBC White Blood Count
     WHR Waist to Hip Ratio
     WNL Within Normal Limits
     ZIFT Zygote Intra-fallopian Transfer

    Thanks for reading,

    My History

    For my first post I thought I would take you on a journey, my infertility journey, what we have been through and what brings me here.

    I met my husband in 2005 and we were married in 2010 in beautiful Carlsbad, CA. I was so naive, I thought the only issues we were going to have would be how many children we wanted.  I always dreamed of a big family and wanted 4.  Ryan only wanted 2.  Fast forward to present day and I would give my left arm for even 1 at this point.

    Our infertility journey started in October 2011, we pulled the goalie and thought like everyone else, we would be pregnant in a month.  In December I had my annual check up with my OBGYN and she told me that due to my age (at the time I was 35) if I wasn't pregnant in 6 months after using an ovulation predictor kit, that I should consult a reproductive endocrinologist.  I was so anxious that I made the appointment in January 2012.  I was living in Los Angeles at the time and was referred to a couple of different clinics but ended up at Reproductive Partners in Beverly Hills.  We both had full work ups done and were diagnosed, wait for it....., nothing was wrong so we were unexplained infertility.  This was the first frustration in what feels like about a billion more in our journey.

    We proceeded with back to back to back IUIs with absolutely no success. Was then told that we should move onto IVF.  That was a hard pill to swallow, but sure lets do that.  In the doctor's opinion, there would be no way that we wouldn't be pregnant.  He was actually surprised that the IUIs didn't work.  So then we did back to back to back IVFs with no success.  Three really difficult and horrible experiences and nothing to show for it except a lot less money in the bank account.

    I was devastated after that last failed IVF and went into a serious depression.  Around the same time, Ryan was transferred from LA to San Diego so we moved back home.  I decided not to work and to focus on my infertility.  I researched every doctor from LA to SD and in between.  We finally decided with Dr. Kettle at San Diego Fertility.  After 10 months of sadness and being just pissed at the situation, I worked up enough courage to start my next cycle.  We decided on a banking cycle, freeze all with PGS.  We did our first cycle and ended up with 2 day 5 blasts.  I am about to start my second cycle with them.  Fingers crossed that this is lucky number 5.

    Thanks for reading my story and welcome to my blog!