Closure

What a funny title, closure.  Does anyone truly get closure after some life altering blow like this?  Does anyone ever move on from it?  Will I ever move on?  I doubt it.  I will always have this journey as part of my story and my family's story.  This is now embedded in the fabric of who we are and what we have become.  We are now officially a family of 3.  Even as I type this is still doesn't feel totally real and final, even though it is.  I guess the fog hasn't truly lifted.  May was spent in a daze, in true disbelief.  June was spent grieving.  Lots and lots of tears.  July was spent angry.
Now it is August 1st and I'm drawn back to the keyboard trying to find a way to deal with all the feelings.  All I know is that I am tired of feeling sad and angry all the time.  So I am calling August my month of gratitude. Years ago I was so defeated that I never even thought I would have a baby.  Then during my pregnancy, the horrible shock of having to say goodbye to one baby and faced with the threat of losing the other, I prayed every day that I would someday get to hold him in my arms and see his smiling face.  Well here I sit and I am blessed with love and laughter every day and at least for August I am going to try and focus on that.  While I will never get over losing our other baby, I am tasking myself with finding a way to mother the best that I can and find a way to bring that baggage along for the ride that isn't detrimental to either of us.  After all we did name him Duncan because it means fighter and boy did he fight to join us Earth side and be a part of our lives.  So now I fight to show him that we can cry sometimes, but that we can also pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and find the good out there.  When I first started writing this blog it was for myself, I needed to find a way to express how I was feeling.  Then I decided to write it for others that didn't have their voice yet.  So many folks battling infertility fight it alone.  But, now I write it for him.  I want him to know his story and how much I loved him for years before we ever met.  My goal is to get this printed and bound for him.  And just like with our journey, we needed an end point, a time to say we did our best and did all we could, this blog also needs an endpoint.  This is just one of the ways I can hope to find that magical mysterious thing called closure.  So I'll end this in gratitude to my dear son.

Duncan, 
You are the stars and the moon and the sun and all that is amazing in my world.  I am beyond lucky and grateful to finally be able to hold the title of your mother.  I hope one day that you will read this and just know how hard your father and I fought for you.  Know that we did all we could.  I am so sorry that you entered this world without your twin.  I am so devastated for you that your start was with loss.  I am heartbroken for how your story began.  We all know how strong you are and I hope that through out your life you can call on that strength whenever you need it. You are that fighter that we prayed for.  Fight every day for happiness and to see the good in this world.   I love you more than words can express.
Love,
Mom

Results are Chemical Pregnancy

We took a blood test on Wed and our HCG came back at 8.  This is extremely low.  It should have been above 20.  We took another today and it came back at 2.  This is officially classified as a non-viable, chemical pregnancy.  I'm stopping all meds and this journey is officially over.

We are of course devastated by the news. Tears haven't even begun to be shed.  It will take awhile to process, but when I started this blog and this journey, part of the reason was to be open and honest about how insane the roller coaster of emotions all of this can be.  How unfair it all can be.  How everything you do can be the right thing, follow all the protocols, the diets, the appointments, spend all the money and still have negative results.  Infertility is a cruel unfair world and sadly we have seen all this before.  I honestly tried my best and did all I could and still didn't get the results we wanted.

I am heartbroken for my son, who not only lost his twin, but now has lost any chance of having a sibling.  I will hold him closer tonight and am truly thankful for the blessing that he is.  As I am typing this, I'm thinking about what little chance we had to have him in the first place, how high risk our pregnancy was, how we had originally been told we were having a miscarriage, how we had a high chance of losing him when we lost his twin.  I always feel blessed to be his mom, to finally be pregnant and then to finally hold this precious baby boy.  We chose the name Duncan because it means warrior and boy did he fight to be with us.  And now he is lucky enough to have two more guardian angels join in looking over him.  I'm going to hold my little warrior just that much closer tonight and try and focus on what a blessing my guy is.

We will battle through this and come up for air eventually and figure out how to move on from something that has been a part of us for so long.  Thanks for all the love, kindness and support all of you have given us.

Much Love,
HEATHER

I'm PUPO

It's an infertility term.  It means Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.  It's a weird state of limbo to be in.  Technically if I am pregnant, I would be 6 days pregnant because we transferred 5 day old embryos.  6 days pregnant doesn't mean really anything to my body, however the mind is a power thing.  Every breath almost makes me wonder if I'm pregnant.  Plus a few of the medications I'm on have similar pregnancy side effects.  And on top of that I have some slight cramping, but that's probably just due to the progesterone and the FET procedure itself.  It's still a funny spot to be in though.  Just constantly wondering.  Dealing and living through this so many times, it still never gets any easier.  The wait is always the hardest.
So what to do to pass the time?  Number one this to do is pray.  My Aunt wrote me a prayer and I've read that a few times.  I've also prayed on my own.  Now more than ever is a timenfor faith.
The next thing I do is talk to my babies.  I place my hand below my navel and welcome them home.  Promise to keep them healthy and well fed.  Promise to love them and grow a beautiful home for them.  Aside from that, there are lots of superstitions and good luck charms surrounding the infamous waiting period.  If anything,  it just makes me feel like I'm doing something and somewhat participating in the process.  I eat Brazil nuts daily.  Brazil nuts contain selenium, which is a mineral that helps to thicken the uterine wall, and a healthy lining aids in implantation.  I take selenium pills, but add eating brazil nuts after transfer.  I also eat pineapple.  Pineapple contains bromelain which has anti inflammatory properties that has a natural anti-inflammatory effect.  I eat warm things and drink tea and lay on my back or left side to increase circulation to the uterus and try and sit as little as possible.

Lastly I have some lucky charms.  First off, on our last trip I found a beautiful egg ornament in Hungary that came with a beautiful story about fertility.  It spoke to us immediately and we bought it and carried it with us everywhere,  continued taking it to every prenatal appointment and took Duncans newborn photos with it.  This whole trip I was looking for something to bring us luck and nothing spoke to me.  The day before our transfering, I was putting something in the diaper bag and found a small bag containing a necklace from Ryan's grandmother who recently passed away.  We were at her home recently and Ryan's mother let me choose what I wanted and I choose that.  I thought I had put it with the stemware I also brought back, but it was sealed away in a special pocket in the backpack.  As soon as I found it, Ryan said, "maybe that's our good luck charm".  Heck ya it is!  His grandmother was always so supportive and special and would send us these beautiful cards during all our previous cycles.  This is for sure her looking over us.  She is our guardian angel.  I put the necklace on and wore it to the transfer.  Duncan asked what it was and I told him it was Grandma Rita's and he said "I love you Grandma Rita".  And we do love her very much and feel so special to have her looking out for us.

Lastly I have another pair of lucky socks on.  Todays socks are lemurs.  Lemurs hold a special place in our hearts.  We have a memorial plaque for the baby we lost in front of the lemurs at the San Diego Zoo.  We chose lemurs for two reason.  Their name means angel and because they are vegetarians:)  I always say that Duncan has a very special angel looking out for him.  So when I saw the lemur socks I knew they would be perfect for implantation day.

Ryan and Duncan are enjoying a lovely afternoon in Prague and I'm relaxing in our room.

As always, Thanks for Reading!
HEATHER

x

FET recap

Yesterday was transfer day.  All went well.  Here are the details of the day.
We woke up and had breakfast in the hotel.  Them I went upstairs to the clinic for my blood draw.  I had 3 nurses attend based on what happened last time.  I'm happy to report that it only took one poke and in the forearm.  I was in and out in 10 min.  That was a huge relief.
We then continued our photo taking quest from the day before.  We visited Thomas Bata University, the college where our donor attended.  We found a very small book store that sold shirts and sweatshirts, but none in Duncan's size.  They did however sell a beach ball so we were able to purchase something. We then walked to a farmers market that we had found the last time we were here and took pictures there as well.  Duncan was happy to find a guy selling popcorn.  Lastly we walked over to the oldest house in town which we had also discovered the last time we were here.  The one thing we found this time, that we missed last time was the main square.  Obviously its very small.   We had walked on the street in front of it last time.  It had several shops,  cafes and coffee shops.  We wandered around there taking more pictures until it was time for my appointment.
Next up was our appointment with embryology and with Anna our coordinator. She is the English speaking contact we have and has been a huge help through the process both times.  I was so excited for Duncan to meet her.  Without exaggeration,  I bet I've exchanged at least 500 emails with her if not more.  She was our life line through all of this.  We brought her a gift as a thank you and it was so very sweet to have Duncan give it to her.  I asked if she would hold him so I could take a photo of them together and I got some really great ones.
We then got down to business.  OUR EMBRYOS SURVIVED THE THAW!!!! They both started hatching right before the time of transfer. 

I only have a dark and grainy photo.  I'm going to ask for a better one tomorrow and see if they took any other pictures.  But who cares, our little embryos awoke and started growing and that's the first huge step.  I also got my progesterone numbers back and they were 131.  No need to change any medication so just going to stay on our current protocol until I go for more blood work.
After our meeting, Duncan and Ryan had to go.  They wouldn't be allowed in for transfer and it was lunchtime anyways so they headed off. Anna gave Duncan a big kiss on the cheek and he said goodbye. I hugged and kissed both my guys and they left in search of a park and lunch.
They don't offer acupuncture here so I was unable to get treatment before or after transfer which is what I would do back home.  At the wellness center they did offer a head and shoulder massage.  I thought that would be a good idea before the transfer.  That was a big mistake.  There was nothing wrong with the massage, but I was just a ball of nerves and it made it so very hard to lay still.  It was almost torture more than relaxing.  Finally it was over and I could move around.

I went back to the room to get ready for transfer.  They ask that you wear just a shirt and then your robe and slippers.  I put on my dream big socks and headed to transfer.

They have a waiting room you sit in before transfer that is a room with a few beds.  I waited in that room for about 45 minutes.  There was one lady before me.  It was nice to have some extra time alone.  I sat down and listened to a few short guided meditations.  Then I did a bunch of squats and sit ups and then some yoga poses and finally some stretching.  This all really helped calm me down.

Finally it was my turn.  They escorted me into the operating room.  There were two nurses.  One doing the work and another one to translate what was going on in English.  Then the doctor came in and we went over what was going to happen.   Confirmed that we were transfering two and using Embryoglue.  Then the embryologist cane in and introduced herself.  That's when she informed me that they both had started to hatch and said she would show me on the monitor.  She left and went into the lab and shortly after, on the monitor were these two gorgeous embryos.  It brought tears to my eyes to see them.  I then laid back, feet up and the transfer began.  The only thing different this time from all the other times is the embryologist participated in transferring the embryos. The doctor set everything up and then she came back with the pipette containing our embryos.  She was the one to actual place them.  Then she left to confirm they were both gone and the pipette was empty, which it was.  She then said good luck, squeezed my hand and left.  The doctor also wished me well and left. Then the two nurses wheeled my gurney back into my room.  There was a small mishap where they took a corner too close and knocked a chunk of drywall off.  Both Ryan and Duncan think this is hilarious and laugh every time they pass it.  They then transferred me to my bed and instructed me to lay still for an hour.  It's a lot easier to do that in your own bed than in the uncomfortable bed with stirrups that usually happens.  So I laid back and watched the latest Kevin Hart standup.  It was the perfect mindless activity.  Shortly after I took a nap.  I laid in bed the rest of the afternoon and evening as I have now entered the bed rest position of all this.  The boys shared a burger for dinner and I again indulged in peanuts and a granola bar.  We all went to bed shortly after.  Now just hoping and praying for a successful implantation.  Stick babies stick!

Day 10 - FET Day

Today is the big day!  It's 4am here now and of course I can't sleep.  So much going on.
In a few short hours (around 10pm California time) the embryologist will wake our embryos from their deep sleep from the last 3 years.  Hopefully they had a great nap and are ready to go to work.  That's the first big obstacle,  surviving the thaw. 
Then at 11am our time (2am California time) we meet with the embryologist to find out their status.  We had 2 perfectly graded embryos going into the freeze and hopefully that's what we get out.
Then at 1pm our time (5am California time) I head into the operating room and transfer those embabies and welcome them home.  Then it's 1 hour in recovery trying to stay perfectly still and then after that it's the waiting game.
So today is the day.  Pray that our little ones find comfort and want to stick around for about the next 39 or so weeks.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Day 9 Tabor -> Zlin

Awoke to a beautiful morning in Tabor.  The weather was perfect, the sun was out and a great day for a walk.  Breakfast was included at our hotel and it was awesome.  Another place with pretty good gluten free bread too.  If you ever find yourself in the small town of Tabor, I recommend the Hotel Nautilus.  I wanted to shop and Duncan wanted to watch the construction guy drive a skid steer so we split up and I walked and Ryan and Duncan watched the crew working on the old church in town.  I found an adorable shop that I bought a Christmas ornament in as a souvenir from our trip.  Then I found a coffee shop that also sold art and books.  I bought two books for Duncan, one is a book in Czech about football and another in English about the Mole that's a popular toy here.  I also found a cool print to frame and put in his room and another painting for our bathroom. We squeezed as much as we could in and then had to leave and head to Zlin which was about 3 hours away.
One of the main things I wanted to accomplish on this trip was to make Duncan a scrapbook photo album so he could see for himself where he began.  I bought a nice camera before we left and made it a goal to take him around Zlin and take lots of pictures.  I got a good hour in today and will continue tomorrow.
Then it was time for my massage.  That wasn't an option the last time I was here so I was glad to take advantage this time.  Plus for a 90 min massage, it only costs $30!  While I got my massage, Ryan found a playground to take Duncan to.  Then they got food to go at the place we ate at last time because again it's literally the only vegetarian place in town.  It is good though so it worked. While I was waiting for the boys to being food back, I enjoyed a glass of wine on the patio.  It was so pretty out and nice and quiet. 

After dinner we went back to the hotel we stayed at the last time we were here called Pension Uno.  We had dessert in their restaurant and took lots more photos.  We talked about just how crazy it was to be back there.  The last time we were there we had no clue about if this crazy plan of ours would work and now we are here with a 2 year old.  Just crazy. 
Well off to bed as tomorrow is the big day. Lots and lots of appointments and things going on.  I'll update as soon as I can.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER
 

Day 7 & 8 - Cesky Krumlov -> Plzen -> Tabor

Day 7 and 8 were both travel days.  After a mellow night in Cesky Krumlov, we woke up and started our long day of sight seeing.  Ryan got him and Duncan some breakfast, I again ate a granola bar and we started our day.  In all the guide books I read, when discussing the Cesky Krumlov,  it said to just wander around and enjoy the town.  I decided to hire a local guide to take us on a private tour.  She had a kid and said she would tailor the tour for us.  We met her in front of our apartment and she took us around the quaint small little town.  Pointing put places for lunch, snacks and shopping. Trdenlik are these spiral fried dough snacks that are served out of small store fronts.  They are covered in cinnamon and sugar.  You can get plain or filled. I got Duncan one filled with bananas and whipped cream.  I'm letting him splurge and have eased up on my no sugar rule this trip.  I want him to indulge and really experience as much as he can and boy did he love this treat.

We made our way to the castle and stopped at a cool playground for Duncan along the way.  We didn't bother going on the castle tour, but did walk the grounds and let Duncan run through the gardens.  The gardens were so large that it takes 10 full time gardeners to maintain them.  It was a great place to let Duncan burn off some of that toddler energy.  We tried to have lunch, but there weren't any great options so we got in the car and headed to our next city which was Pilsen or Plzen if you are Czech.  The place that I had picked out for dinner was unexpectedly closed, but luckily there was a place just around the corner that had some options for everyone.  We ate dinner and then found some grass next to a pond.  Duncan enjoyed throwing rocks and dirt in the pond and we stayed there until the sun went down.
Day 8 started with a breakfast buffet in the hotel.  There were lots of choices for me to eat so I was happy.  We then made our way to Dino Park.  You have to pay to get in.  It's basically a large playground with big animatronic dinosaurs scattered about.  Admission was only $5 per adult and Duncan was free.  He was a bit scared of the dinosaurs at first because they roared,  but he soon warmed up to them.  There was a small zipline that he enjoyed, a sand pit for digging dinosaur bones and a few play structures.  They also had this water feature where you could pump water and have it spray a dinosaur.  He enjoyed that the best.  Lunch was at the Pilsner Urquell brewery.  Ryan enjoyed a dark ale and Duncan enjoyed the play area for kids.  We then walked the grounds, hit up the gift shop and then it was time to go.  We had a two hour drive ahead of us to Tabor. 
Tabor is this tiny, but full of life town.  Our hotel was perfect and in an amazing location over looking the towns main historic square.  We were treated with glasses of prosecco and a bag of popcorn.   That's my kind of welcome.  Again my research paid off and there was an indian food restaurant just across the square.  The waiter took a liking to Duncan and entertained him with a paper airplane and a paper boat that he made.  They also played with his roller at the table.  The food was so good.  I had a mushroom amd tofu dish and vegetable biryani.  Ryan had chicken korman and Duncan ate some of everything, but the vegetables in the biryani was his favorite.  We took a stroll after dinner and found a bunch of cute shops but it was late and all were closed.  We decided instead of waking and leaving in the morning that we would carve out time to do some shopping. 
Hands down Cesky Krumlov and Tabor were our absolute favorite cities on this trip we are already talking about coming back and staying longer next time. 
Tomorrow the vacation portion of the trip is over and we head to Zlin.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Day 6 - Krems an der Donau -> Cesky Krumlov

So the pills are starting to really hit my system and some side effects are kicking in now like nausea and light headedness,  but that's really all about the quantity that I'm taking more than anything.  My wrist is still really sore which is just making me really anxious knowing that I have to do another blood test in a few days.  Stomach is still sore.  And now I have the added fun of progesterone suppositories.  They give you cramps so that's fun.  Overall though I'm not getting any migraines and I'm very thankful for that.  That's usually the response my body takes to these meds so I'm really happy not to have to deal with that.
The vacation portion of the trip is going well.  Duncan hasn't slept through the night yet, but it's getting better every day.
Today we awoke in Krems and had breakfast at our hotel.  They had a gluten free roll and I was so happy to have it.  After breakfast we made out way to another winery.  Again it was appointment only so we had the whole place to ourselves.   They asked if we wanted to taste inside or outside and we chose outside so Duncan could play.  He brought his toy excavator and there was a small pile of dirt in the back area so that was enough to keep him entertained for the hour we were there.  We did the 12 wine tasting for €15, emptying most of it out because I don't like to drink before a transfer and because Ryan was driving.  It was still a lot of fun though tasting all these different wines. About half I had never had before. It was very special and high up on cool winery moments we have had. 
After that we drove through small town after small town.  They all follow the Danube and the views are gorgeous.  We eventually made our way to Melk to visit the famous Melk Abbey.  We toured as much as we could without going on the official tour because that would have been torture for Duncan.  So he just ran around and we saw what we could.  The boys had pizza for lunch and I had a well balanced lunch of an apple, peanuts and a granola bar from our car stash.  We then headed to the castle Scholls Schallaburg.  As soon as we entered the parking lot, Dyncan fell asleep.  We thought about going in, but decided to pass, let him nap and get to our next city sooner.
Our next stop was Cesky Krumlov.  We reached it about 5pm.  Here we rented a 2 bedroom apartment through Airbnb, which I had never used before.  We picked it because it had a washer and dryer and we would be able to do laundry halfway through the trip so we wouldn't have to pack as much.  Since Duncan uses me as a human napkin, it's nice to have a set of clean clothes again.  We played it mellow tonight.  I had researched and found an actual vegetarian restaurant in town.  Ryan agreed to get food to go and bring it back.  The restaurant owner bought Ryan a beer while he was waiting for his food so that put a big old smile on his face.  We did laundry, ate dinner, took long hot baths and played with kinetic sand until we all went to bed.  It was nice to take a break and just relax for a night.  Plus we have a full schedule tomorrow so enjoyed some relaxing time.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Day 5 Weiner Newstadt->Krems an der Donau

Day 5 was much better.  The additional progesterone pill isnt too bad and no real side effects.  I'm tolerating the addition iron pill as well.  It just makes for a lot of pills.  I would say I'm up to approximately 20 pills now.

  The only real side effect I'm feeling is with the addition of prednisone,  my appetite has increased.  Which again makes it tough in the land of sausages and pretzels.  My wrist is still very swollen and has a huge bruise.  And because it's on my wrist, I move it a lot so I feel it a lot.  The skin irritation where the reaction from the adhesive was has also gone away so the itchiness has also left.  The main thing I'm dealing with is the bruising from the shots.  I'm still icing it like normal,  but it doesnt seem to be working as well this time around.  I'll spare you any photos, but my stomach is now a collection of various sized and colored bruises.  Its makes for a very tender abdomin and slight discomfort when I'm sitting.  Lastly, for those that don't know, as the result of a car accident years ago, I suffer from nerve damage in my leg.  It usually is treated with an internal device that sends relectrical pulses from my nerves to my brain to stop the pain.  I had to turn that off and the pain is slowly starting to come back.  I dealt with this last time so it wasn't unexpected,  it's just not fun.
Emotionally I feeling better and in a better head space.  Thanks again for the outpouring of support.  It's always wonderful to know I have a great tribe looking out for us.
We are now in full vacation mode until we head back on the 8th.  I have a full itinerary to keep us busy.  We are basically driving along the north countryside of Austria and then making a circle and driving across the Czech Republic.

Today we hit the coolest amusement park in Austria.  It was called Family Park and it was just a perfect day.  Zero crowds and the weather was lovely.  Duncan was the perfect age to take here.  Almost everything he could ride as long as we accompanied him.  We spent the majority of the day there.

At Nigl winery

In the late afternoon we headed to the Austrian wine region of Wachau.  Here it is different than tasting at home. Every single winery is by appointment only.  I read an article in Travel & Leisure about where to taste and booked us a 4pm tasting at a winery called Nigl.  It was awesome. Really very different from wine tasting in California.  The wines were ok, but it was really the experience that was amazing.  After wine tasting we ended up in Krems an der Donau were we stayed at a lovely little hotel.  We went for a walk, did some window shopping and then found a restaurant that I had researched that had some vegan options.  Food was just ok, but I was glad to get a meal.  We got the food to go and ate it in the courtyard of our hotel which had just enough grass to keep Duncan occupied and burned off some energy before bed.  Tomorrow we are off to another city with hopefully just as much good times in store for us.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Day 4 Bruno->Weiner Newstadt

Well today was better than yesterday so we are headed in a good direction.  Duncan woke again at 1am, but was back to sleep by 2am.  Hopefully this is also swinging in the right direction.  As a family, we all slept a bit longer because we all needed it.  Yesterday was really tough on everyone. Oh and plus I forgot to mention it was Ryan's birthday.  Definitely not the most fun birthday.  We will have to have a redo to make up for that one at some point. 

Physically, I've been better.  After the whole ordeal yesterday, I have lots of bruises and my wrist and right arm have really big swollen areas.  That's a new fun side effect.  Ugh.  Plus one of the adhesives on a bandage caused a reaction (this is pretty common with me now) so I also basically want to scratch my skin off.  So that's super fun!  Another Ugh :(  I received an email from my coordinator stating that they received my test results and my progesterone is very low.  The doctor said that was ok and gave me a protocol that I will start tomorrow.  This includes 4 vaginal suppositories three times a day and 1 pill taken orally.  It's about as fun as it sounds.  The number of pills I'm taking is really starting to add up now.

Emotional I'm feeling a bit drained.  The weight of the situation is starting to really make it's way into my head space.  While I am so fortunate to have Duncan and feel so grateful, I would love to give him a sibling.  Especially because he comes from a donor, I feel like they would just have such a wonderful bond and story to share  And if this doesn't work,  I won't be able to.  I want him to know how hard I tried when someday he will read this.  Whether it works or not, I sure did try my hardest.  Somedays I feel stronger and braver than others.  I mean I did fly halfway around the world, deplete our entire savings at one point, all on a wing and a prayer that some Russian doctor in the Czech would somehow give me a child.  It's such a crazy idea and even crazier that it worked.  Other days I feel like I could just lay in bed and cry all day and feel sorry for myself.  Life just isn't fair sometimes and what we have been though in order to conceive is beyond ridiculous.  On top of that, I still grieve the loss of Duncan's twin on a pretty regular basis.  Opening myself up to getting pregnant again, also opens up all the fears of dealing with loss again.  I can describe my emotions as a roller coaster combination of them all.  I really do appreciate and feel all the love and support everyone of you back home are sending our way.  On the crappier days or worse feeling moments, its been helpful to remember how many of you are cheering us on.  And maybe in those less strong moment I can lean on others for strength and I thank you for that.

While traveling with our 2 year old has been difficult,  it has also been a very welcoming distraction.  Today was all about him.  I found this amazing place in Brno called the Brno Family Park.  It was an indoor play space that was literally the coolest thing ever.  It had trampolines,  giant inflatables, ball pits, air hockey, two story slides, giant blocks, obstacle courses, bumper cars, bumper boats and a whole upstairs play area just for kids under 4 that had it's own ball pit, play kitchen, 2 story life size doll house and a giant inflatable octopus.  When we first got there, he didn't even know where to go, he just ran from things to thing.  We were there about 4 hours and all of us laughed and had fun.  The best part was that it was about $5 a person.  If for some reason you ever find yourself in Brno with a kiddo in tow, go here!
We then made our way to Weiner Newstadt in Austria.  We found some grass for him to run in, went for a long walk around the neighborhood 0and then found a huge park on the way back.  It had about 5 different play structures.  He loved it.  We made our way back to the room and it was lights out around 9pm.  Fingers crossed he sleeps until morning.  The only real major bummer is this is the part of the trip where vegan/gluten free is non-existent so it was crackers and peanuts for lunch and two granola bars for dinner for me.  Same thing happened last time, so I was prepared,  but that still doesn't make it fun.  Signing off and hoping to get some sleep myself.  Love to you all and thanks again for all the love and support!

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Day 3 Intralipids. Zlin->Brno

Day 3 is described as DIFFICULT and that is putting it mildly.  Poor Duncan is just all over the place with sleep and the time difference really hit him hard.  So Day 3 started at 1am when he woke up just upset.  He didn't calm down until 3am and didn't sleep until 5am.  Needless to say, we were all very tired and not in the best of moods.
We ate breakfast in the hotel and went back to the room to reorganize and pack up. I ran into another couple that spoke English and was there with their 3 year old.  Him and Duncan played for a bit while we chatted and shared our experiences.
Then at 11 it was time for my intralipid infusion IV treatment.   Intralipid is a sterile fat emulsion.  The active ingredient in Intralipid is soya oil. Soya oil consists of a mixture of mainly polyunsaturated fatty acids. It also contains egg lecithin as an emulsifier, which is isolated from egg yolk.  The theory is that it helps women who have had recurrent miscarriage, multiple failed IVF cycles or multiple failed IUI cycles. Intralipids deactivate natural killer cells in a woman’s body which may prevent embryos from implanting and growing properly in the uterus. We have done intralipids with two transfers, one at SDFC with our two normal PGS tested embryos that resulted in a BFN and then again here in Czech with my last pregnancy.   The science goes back and forth on it if it actually helps, but the good thing is it either helps or does nothing, but it doesnt have any negative risks, so we keep trying it. Ryan and Duncan escorted me back and then left to check out of the room and go play at a park downstairs.  
As I mentioned in a previous blog post, the state of my veins are not good.  After living with infertility for so long, and having so many blood tests done,  I have developed scar tissue in my veins.  About 3 times ago, the phlebotomist mentioned it would soon be an issue and the 2 times after that it was increasing harder to draw blood.  Well lucky me, it all culminated today and it became an issue. I was in a room, laying down on a cot and it started with 2 nurses.  I'll spare the awful details, but it concluded with 5 nurses, 1 doctor, 5 attempts in 4 different places and finally 1 IV in my wrist. This was very painful and on top of all that, took every single ounce of energy I had, not to pass out. What should have been a 45 min IV, now became a 2 hour IV because they had to use a smaller vein. 

Finally it was over and they came to remove the IV.  The nurse doing that part didn't speak any English.  She took out the IV and I'm guessing told me to put pressure on it in Czech,  which I didn't and next thing I knew she turned around so I thought she was done and I went sit up and blood just started flowing.  That just about did me in right then and there.  Luckily I was already in a bed so I just laid back down.  She turned back from her paperwork, saw what happened and cleaned me up and rebandaged me and said to wait in bed.  Another nurse came in that did speak English.  At first I thought she was there to see if I was OK.  But then she told me my next appointment was in another room.  I assumed this was for my blood results.  Well it wasn't, it was to take more blood.  See I thought they drew the blood before they hooked up the IV.  Remember I can't watch and they don't speak English this came as a shock.  After all I just went through, I now had to try and give blood.  At that moment, my weakness and fear crept in and I lost it and just started crying.  I asked it I could go back and lay down and do the blood draw back there.  The nurse then realized I was crying and called for back up.  Now a team of nurses were back with me.  4 to be exact.  1 kept saying sorry and the others only spoke Czech.  They decided to go back in through the wrist again and this pain was even worse than the last time, but at least it was very quick.  One nurse kept stroking my hair and another nurse held my hand. They were very sweet and really tried hard to comfort me.  I was just wrapped up in emotions and it all came out at that moment. Being so far from home, being alone it just got the best if me.  They sat me up and gave me a big group hug and tried to show me that it will all be ok even though they didn't know the words.  I will remember their kindness forever.  One of the nurses spotted Duncan outside and opened the window and told me to come over to see my boy. 

That stopped the tears and brought me back to some peace and strength.  Sometimes we just push through the tears and do what we have to do. Dealing with infertility isn't easy and some days are harder than others.  Mark this as a difficult day.
I then met with a doctor who added an additional progesterone pill to the mix.  So in two days I will start the transfer protocol.  The clinic has it's own pharmacy so I grabbed the pills and we headed out.  On a more exciting note, there was a TV behind the reception desk and they were playing Octo Hiity.  I am now officially obsessed with their music television.  It's amazing! 

We left Zlin and headed to Brno.  I had intended for us to visit a science center, but because everything took so long, we didn't have enough time.  So instead we went for a stroll around the city center.  There was a cute farmers market outside our hotel so we stopped and got fresh strawberries, tomatoes marinated in garlic and basil and caper berries. We snacked on those and walked for a bit.  The last time we were here I was on bedrest and never left the room so it was nice to finally see the city.  Before we left, I had found a Thai restaurant that had vegetarian and gluten free choices.  I had fried rice with veggies and Ryan had pad thai.  It was delicious.  On the way back to our room, we stumbled upon a stage with live music.  It was a rock band singing loud and in Czech.  Duncan loved it.  After each song, he said "more music". So we sat there and listened and slowly this metal band put my son to sleep. In his early days Metallica used to do the trick and I just love my little rocker dude and his love of music.  I took a slightly longer route home to window shop and try and discover a bit of the city.  Todays ordeal still weighed heavy on my mind so it was nice to just be casual and walk.  We landed back in the room and made for a quick good night.  
Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Day 2 Prague->Kutna Hora->Zlin

I'll jump to the best part of the day first.  In the afternoon we made it to the clinic and I met with a doctor and had an ultrasound check.  Because we used miles to travel, we had few options on which day we left and that meant we were traveling on a day that I needed to have my lining checked and checking it at home would have been too early to matter.  Last time I did that back in the States but this time I didn't have any checks until we got here.  I was a but nervous that they would find something to screw things up, but my check went wonderfully.

• Lining measured 11.8.  This was wonderful news.  You want your lining to be a 7 or better.
• No cysts.  If they find one, it could cancel the cycle because the cyst feeds off of the same hormones you need for the embryo to implant and grow.  My uterus is still squeaky clean!
• No follicles are growing on either side.  That means the drugs are working and everything looks good for transfer.
• They checked my c section scar and gave the ok to transfer 2.  Our doctor in the US also did that and said my scar looked great, but this was a final check here that they needed to do.

In the morning I will go for my infusion and blood draw to determine my next medication schedule.  This is all great stuff and made me feel so much better to cross this off the list and move forward.  Ok so now I can tell you all about the rest of our day, but wanted to share all that good stuff first.

After a rough go of it getting Duncan to go to sleep, once he was asleep, he slept like an angel.  Ryan went and got our rental car and I reorganized our things and got us all ready all while he slept.  We loaded up the car and headed to our first stop.  We decided on Kutna Hora to break up the long ride to Zlin. As soon as we made it onto the freeway, we found a radio station called Rock Zone and Motley Crue's new song The Dirt came on.  I take this as a very good sign. Kutna Hora is about an hour and a half outside of Prague.  It is a small city with quaint curvy cobblestone streets.  Duncan learned the hard way that he can't run on them like he does at home and feel and scraped his hand.  We went to St. Barbara's Church.  It was beautiful on the inside, but we were short on time and had to skip the full inside tour.  We had time for one thing there so we choose to go to a chocolate museum and chocolate shop.  She said the museum was the worlds smallest.  It was really just a room in the back of the store, but it was filled with artifacts and information.  She gave us a brief history of the company, which at one time made over 5, 000 types of candies and chocolates, but then enter Nazi's and WWII and they were taken over and ruined. Recently they reopened as a small batch company and does everything on a much smaller scale.  After the museum, of course we had to buy and sample chocolate.  Duncan has had chocolate in things before, but this was the first time he has ever had a chocolate bar.  At first taste, he declared "I like it, I like it"!  We bought dark chocolate with cacao nibs, plain milk chocolate, white chocolate with cocoa nibs and dark chocolate with ginger.  All were pulled from a bag and pieces were broken off and weighed.  It was a great experience.  Then we walked for a bit and then had to leave to head to Zlin.

Zlin was about a 3 hour car ride away.  We all piled in the car and choose to eat granola bars and other car snacks instead of a proper lunch.  Duncan lasted about 1 hour and then fell asleep for the rest of the ride and I joined him soon after.

Next stop, Zlin.  We arrived about 10 minutes before my appointment and Duncan was still asleep. Ryan stayed with him in the car and I went upstairs.  It is very surreal being back here.  Walking through those doors, it all came flooding back.  I was so nervous last time.  There was a wall with baby pictures on it and I remember praying that one day I would have a photo on that wall.  Now I'm returning and I have a 2 year old in tow with me outside.  Just a flood of all the feels as I walked inside.  On our last trip out here, we became obsessed with a TV channel called Octo Gold.  It was a Czech version of a music television channel, but everything was from the seventies and it was amazing.  The music, the clothes the make up, all fantastically amazing eye candy in a it's so bad it's great kind of way.  Well I walked in and they had on their TV in the waiting room, Octo Star and it was just as glorious.

This made me laugh and immediately made me relax and smile.  I sent Ryan a screenshot of it as he was stuck in the parking lot with our sleeping babe in the car.

After my appointment,  Duncan was still asleep, so we piled back in the car and drove to an old castle that is about 20 min outside of town called Hrad Malenovice.  He still was asleep when we got there so we each took turns walking around.  He woke up right as we were leaving so we got him out and let him run around a bit. Then we piled back in and headed to dinner.

At Hrad Malenovice with a view of Zlin behind me

I had researched and found a restaurant in town that had vegan and gluten free options.  It did not disappoint and for those that dont know, finding anything vegan in CZ is a herculean task so to find one in Zlin was amazing.  It wasn't all vegan, but had several choices for me.  I devoured my grilled tempeh Asian salad because I'm not sure when I'll have more food like this in the next week or so.  Ryan had a peanut chicken salad and what I absolutely loved was that the choices off the kids menu were grilled chicken or grilled salmon, not mac n cheese or friend chicken fingers.  It was actual good food, not crap, but just smaller portions.  Duncan was served a grilled piece of salmon, on potato puree and a spring salad. He ate every single bite.  We also decided to have some drinks. Ryan had a pint of Bernard beer.  I had a glass of house made mulled wine and I ordered Duncan a grapefruit lemonade which I could opt for no sugar added.  It was basically, dried grapefruit, lemon, mint, strawberries and sparkling water.  He was a fan.  We then found a small patch of grass and let him run around to burn some energy before heading back to the room.

In the morning we will have breakfast at the hotel and then I head to my next appointment.  Oh and we celebrate another trip around the sun for my husband.  What better way to say happy birthday than a trip to a fertility clinic in Zlin :)

Thanks for Reading,

HEATHER 

Day 1

Day 1 has not much to report.  It was a very long travel day.  We started off a bit stressed though.  My dad took us to the airport in our car. We hopped out, grabbed out suitcases and said goodbye.  Made it to the ticket counter and realized we left the car seat in the car.  Emergency phone call to him to come back and we paced outside until he got there.  Hopefully we got our mistake out the way early on this trip because it's always something.  We left San Diego at almost 9pm at night.  I wasn't sure how this would turn out, but it worked great.  Duncan was so excited to be on the plane,  he was having the best time.  I hit up my local Buy Nothing group so he had a few new to him cars and trucks for the flight that kept him busy for a bit.  Then they served dinner pretty quick and that helped.  He also doesn't get any screen time at home and was over the moon excited to watch TV on the plane.  They have a kids channel and on there they had old school Tom & Jerry cartoons.  He kept saying "what are they doing" and laughing really hard.  He then quickly made himself at home on my side and slept the rest of the 10 hour flight. Me not so much because there just isnt enough room for both of us. 

I tried laying on my side, but that just put me on top of a very hard piece of plastic, buy hey at least he slept.  I ended up sitting up and watched the Girl in the Spiders Web, which was awful by the way, but nice to relax and veg out and watch a movie. Ryan slept a lot which was nice for him too.  Duncan only woke when I had to put him back on his side and buckle him up.  So the first long flight was great.  Then we ended up having about a 5 hour layover in London.  This too wasn't bad.  They have a kids lounge in the British Airways lounge that was full of toys to keep him busy.  The last flight had a lot of fussing because he was just exhausted.  He wanted to be held and was mad that he had to sit in his own seat.  A few meltdowns on the short 2 hours to Prague, but nothing terrible.  We booked a hotel right at the airport because we landed at 11pm.  Wanted to just pop over and grab some sleep before we head out in the am. We checked in and that's when the real meltdown happened.  He was just way over tired.  He kept saying he wanted to go home, this bed is weird and he is all done.  Wanted to read books and not sleep.  He didn't end up falling asleep until about 3am.  I'm writing this at 6am wide awake.  He is still asleep.
Today we have a quick stop in Kutna Hora just to break up the drive.  Then on to Zlin for a 2:30pm meeting with my doctor and an ultrasound to check on my lining.  There is always a fear that the small amount of radiation on a plane can collapse your lining so here is to thick numbers. And an uneventful 4 hour drive today to the clinic.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

PS - if you want to communicate with us while we are gone,  I opted not to pay for a plan on my phone, but Ryan has one on his phone.  So you can text him, email either of us, use fb messenger for me or What's App for either of us. Basically just don't text me because I won't see it.

Last Workout Before We Go & IV Vitamin

We leave tonight so I was able to squeeze in one more workout before we go.  The goal of this was overall better health, but specifically to lose weight.  I wanted to go into this one carrying less extra weight than the first time around. The goal was to lose 20 lbs in 4 months.

Well I did it!!!!! Today's weigh in results was that I'm down 21lbs from when I started.  I literally and figuratively worked my butt off!  I feel great and it's always wonderful to accomplish a goal.  I always eat pretty healthy, but portion control and snacking was definitely higher than it should ve so I really cut back.  Then I hired a personal trainer and worked out at least 3 times a week, twice with her and once on my own and added a yoga class or two when I could and some Zumba on Sundays. I am super pleased with my results and happy to start off so positive.

  The very last thing I did before we left was an IV therapy treatment.  I did this last time as well.  I chose what is called a fast bag, specifically the immunity bag.  It's an IV drip full of vitamin C, vitamin b12, vitamin by and vitamin D (I think, but don't

Orange bag is my IV drip

remember for sure). It's at a place in Solana Beach.  You go in a room and they hook you up to the IV.  Takes about 20 min for the whole process.  My iron is still lower than I would have liked so the extra vitamin C will help raise my iron levels because it helps with absorption. 

Thanks for reading,

HEATHER

Labs Are Back

My labs came back.  This was the last set of bloodwork before we leave.  This was mainly to check if my thyroid was working and to see if the dosage needed adjustment, as well as my vitamin levels, specifically Vitamin D and iron.  Overall everything looked pretty good.  Thyroid was back where it should be at 1.4 so I just continue on my current dose.  Iron was in the normal range but on the low side of that so I added another iron pill, so now I take 4 a day.  Vitamin D was perfect so keeping that where it is.  So still on lots of supplements and prescription meds, but nowhere near as many as I took last time so that's great news.

Infared Sauna Treatments

I started going to infared sauna treatments.  This is another one of those things I'm trying to replicate from my previous  cycle.  My previous acupuncturist had prescribed going.  I had one at the gym I was a member at so I did it for 30 min everyday for two weeks before we left.  Now I'm no longer a member of that gym so I had to find a new location.
Through Yelp I found a local day spa that offered the treatments and it is only 15 minutes from my house.  Due to scheduling and just really running out of time.  I'm doing a series of 5 treatments before we go including the day we leave actually.
The day spa is very cute.  For those local to San Diego, it's called Eco Chateau and it's in Sorrento Valley.
The infrared sauna set up is really no different than a regular dry sauna.  You bake in a small room made of wood with class doors, pictured above. However there is a big difference between a regular sauna and an infared sauna.
Why infared sauna for a FET?  Well two reasons really, an increase in immune support and increase in blood flow.  FETs are all about increasing blood flow.  Thus why I have been doing as much acupuncture as possible.  This heated room definitely fits that bill.  When you walk in, it is set to 140 degrees, but I always turn it down to about 120 - 130.  The infrared works no matter how hot it is, just its just a comfort level issue.  They provide you with a spray bottle of cool water and a bowl with cold water and essential oils and a washcloth for after your treatment.
I usually undress but keep my underwear on, lay down and turn the lights off.  I've never fallen asleep, but I have definitely gone into a deep relaxation.  I just did my 4th treatment tonight and have my 5th on Friday.  I think a lot of what I am doing, whether it medically will help with the transfer or not, it is definitely helping to calm my mind and help with the anxiety of this big step.  And that in turn is definitely helping with the FET, so either way its a win win.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Fertility Meds Suck

So I  haven't posted in a bit because I'm exhausted,  stressed, not sleeping and super nauseous.  Other than that, no complaints.   Seriously though, I think because I'm out of practice and haven't had these meds in my system for so long, it was a shock to my body and it's taking it the hard way....


I started this post a few days ago and didn't finish because I was tired and didn't feel good.  The good news is I'm starting to get used to them and feeling much better. Acupuncture is really helping in that department.  Still have a headache but no where near as bad and back eating again so that's good.

I now take 200mg of estradiol three times a day along with all the vitamins and supplements.  Tomorrow starts the aspirin,  dexamethasone and the lovenox which is a daily shot.  That one I'll take until my second trimester.  Happy injecting!

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

More Acupuncture & Lupron Side Effects

The first few days after the Lupron injection, I felt fine, but man did those side effects start to kick in.  I wake every morning feeling really nauseous and twice now I've actually been so sick that I've thrown up.  I also started getting really bad headaches which is usually the case with Lupron for me.

On the table with needles in my belly and legs

Another week and another acupuncture treatment.  It is so weird to say, but laying on the tables with needles in me, is one of the most relaxing things I can do.  I walked into the treatment room feeling anxious and with a horrible headache.  I left feeling so much more relaxed and my three day long headache was gone.  It did come back the next day, but getting relief for 8 hours was so welcomed.  I'm now going to acupuncture twice a week until we leave.  3 more weeks to go!

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Time for Lupron

I finished my round of birth control pills and now it's time for Lupron, Lupron Depot specifically.  Lupron Depot is basically a 1 month version all-in-one shot instead of daily shots.  Ryan and I once calculated how many shots we did in all our other rounds and the total came out to somewhere around 800.  Yes you read that right, 800!!!!  One would think that would make us pros.  And while we are definitely proficient at this, it certainly never gets any easier.  My anxiety is always sky high.  It takes a lot of faith in your partner, who is not a medical professional, to trust that they can administer the shot with the same skills as a professional.  And I have to say that Ryan hits the mark, pun intended, every time.  Most of the clinics have how to videos online, but he usually finds some good and helpful information on YouTube.  This is definitely one of those times where I am extremely grateful to have a partner that can handle this type of stuff.  Of all the 800+ shots I have received, he has administered every singe one of them so a huge amount of gratitude towards my guy!
Tips and tricks for surviving Lupron injections.

• Ice, ice baby!  Ice the injection spot for 5 minutes a head of time.  This is an intermuscular shot so that means the behind. 
• As soon as the injection is over, massage the injection spot and the area around it.
• Walk, do lunges, do squats, basically do anything to move your glutes and help ease the medicine into your system.  It will feel better in the long run.

The infamous Lupron Depot shot.  This is the shot that originally was going to cost $1,600, 

but luckily insurance did cover a portion of it and our out of pocket was $1,200.

Now we sit and wait for my period to start and then all the other medications will begin.

Thanks For Reading,

HEATHER

Acupuncture

Acupuncture has been a big part of my life for a long time.  I'm so happy to be back at it.  I started using acupuncture to help with leg pain after a car accident several years ago.  Then once I started dealing with infertility, it was always an important component to my treatment.  I had my first treatment for this upcoming cycle yesterday.  Part of the magic of acupuncture is it is truly relaxing and I love it.  The other part is that it helps balance hormones, increases blood flow and helps strengthen the lining of the uterus to prepare for our embryo transfer.
The last several years and several previous cycles I was with a different practitioner.  This cycle I decided to switch for several reasons, to a different facility.  Luckily having volunteered for so long in this space, I know most of the people that work in this field in San Diego.  It was an easy decision to start going somewhere else, and while I had never been a patient before, I knew I would be well taken care of.
While the acupuncturist knew me personally and knew of my story, he still needed to be caught up on the details of my treatment plan.  So the session started out with a quick overview of my history, my current supplements, my current medications and travel plans.  Then the actual acupuncture started.
I laid down on a heated bed.  Needles were then
placed in my ear, my stomach and my ankles.  A heat lamp was then placed on my stomach.  All of this to promote blood flow.  Then calming relaxing music filled the room, lights were turned off and I relaxed for the next 15 min or so.  It was delightful.  I can't wait for my next session.

D&C

In following our protocol and wanting to duplicate what we did last time, we opted to do a D&C again.  The last time we did a D&C, our doctor found numerous small polyps that were so small that they were undetectable during any ultrasounds.  We wanted to recheck and see if any polyps had returned as well as see if there were any other lining issues.  Plus since I delivered my son by C-section, our doctor wanted to look at that and see how it healed and just double check that there aren't any issues.  Long story short, everything is fine.  He did however find 2 polyps that were undetected via ultrasound and removed them.  For a brief moment I played around with the idea of not doing it this time because it was about $3,000 out of pocket, but I'm sure glad that I did now.For those more interested in the details, the full story is below.

Like with any surgery, there were eating and drinking restrictions starting the night before.  No eating starting at 10pm.  That's always no problem for me, it's the no drinking after midnight that is a struggle.  Luckily I woke up right before midnight and was able to drink two full glasses of water.  This helped a lot in the morning.

My surgery was at 12:45 with a check in at 11:45.  The plan was for my husband to stay with my son and my Mom to take me.  It was a rare rainy day in San Diego, so we left a it early.  I had my surgery at the Surgical Center of San Diego.  This is the second time I've had surgery there and both times they have been really great.  No complaints really.  Always really professional and very nice.  Took about 15 to call my name and then off I went.

Once they go over all the consents and you sign your life away, you then change into your lovely gear and then time to hook up the IV.  This (if you read my previous post) is absolutely the worst part for me.  I know the drill and I always tell them I'm a fainter and to hid the IV once they get it started.  The extra super bummer this time is that the nurse informed me that scar tissue has now formed all over my 1 good vein because I always insist they take it from that one in my left arm.  All my other veins are so small that as soon as a needle hits it, it collapses.  He said that vein has had a lot of trauma and probably won't be a viable candidate much longer.  This really sucks because if that one fails, then my only choice is to go through my hand and a) that hurts so much more and b) it stay hurting because it bruises and stays sore for awhile. Guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, but for now, they were able to start the IV in the left, tucked it under the sheet and I was good to go.  They let my mom com back at that point and we sat and waited for the doctor.

My doctor here in the United States is Dr. Chang from Hanabusa IVF.  It's always so strange to see him.  He was such a huge part of my life for so long, but being back in treatment is so bittersweet.  Anyways we had a lot to catch up on so we chatted for awhile.  Then after catching up it was surgery time.  Then next thing I know it was lights out and when I woke up I was in recovery.  My loving husband was in charge of picking me up.  It's always so great to wake up and see him.  He is always very sweet ad it also means I can go home soon.

The surgery went well.  Dr. Chang found two abnormal things that he biopsied and sent out for testing.  He then checked my c section scar from the inside and tested its strength to make sure it would hold up to a pregnancy, possible of twins again.  Because we are transferring 2 embryos, there will be a chance of two.  Lastly, about 5 years ago, after suffering lots of pain, I had 4 cysts removed from the vaginal wall.  Three of the cysts were the size of oranges.  When they were removed, that surgeon told me there was a chance they could grow back.  About 6 months ago 1 started to grow back and was increasingly painful.  I asked Dr. Chang to drain the cyst since he would already be in there and he did.   A few days later I received the results of the biopsy and it did confirm that both were polyps. Again, we are so glad that we did the surgery.  Having polyps can severely effect your chances of getting pregnant. So now I have a squeaky clean uterus and am building a nice new fresh lining, polyps free and ready to go!

This adorable pup has been by my side through

 so much, I love her!

This surgery left me much more sore than the time I did it before.  I guessing its because there was more stuff to do this time and more poking around.  I also had a lot of bleeding for about 5 days.  Not enough to be medically concerned, just very sore and uncomfortable.  Took about 6 days to fully recovery from this one and feel back to my normal self, but luckily I feel just fine now so on to the next steps, researching medicine prices but I'll save that for another blog post.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER