I'm PUPO

It's an infertility term.  It means Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.  It's a weird state of limbo to be in.  Technically if I am pregnant, I would be 6 days pregnant because we transferred 5 day old embryos.  6 days pregnant doesn't mean really anything to my body, however the mind is a power thing.  Every breath almost makes me wonder if I'm pregnant.  Plus a few of the medications I'm on have similar pregnancy side effects.  And on top of that I have some slight cramping, but that's probably just due to the progesterone and the FET procedure itself.  It's still a funny spot to be in though.  Just constantly wondering.  Dealing and living through this so many times, it still never gets any easier.  The wait is always the hardest.
So what to do to pass the time?  Number one this to do is pray.  My Aunt wrote me a prayer and I've read that a few times.  I've also prayed on my own.  Now more than ever is a timenfor faith.
The next thing I do is talk to my babies.  I place my hand below my navel and welcome them home.  Promise to keep them healthy and well fed.  Promise to love them and grow a beautiful home for them.  Aside from that, there are lots of superstitions and good luck charms surrounding the infamous waiting period.  If anything,  it just makes me feel like I'm doing something and somewhat participating in the process.  I eat Brazil nuts daily.  Brazil nuts contain selenium, which is a mineral that helps to thicken the uterine wall, and a healthy lining aids in implantation.  I take selenium pills, but add eating brazil nuts after transfer.  I also eat pineapple.  Pineapple contains bromelain which has anti inflammatory properties that has a natural anti-inflammatory effect.  I eat warm things and drink tea and lay on my back or left side to increase circulation to the uterus and try and sit as little as possible.

Lastly I have some lucky charms.  First off, on our last trip I found a beautiful egg ornament in Hungary that came with a beautiful story about fertility.  It spoke to us immediately and we bought it and carried it with us everywhere,  continued taking it to every prenatal appointment and took Duncans newborn photos with it.  This whole trip I was looking for something to bring us luck and nothing spoke to me.  The day before our transfering, I was putting something in the diaper bag and found a small bag containing a necklace from Ryan's grandmother who recently passed away.  We were at her home recently and Ryan's mother let me choose what I wanted and I choose that.  I thought I had put it with the stemware I also brought back, but it was sealed away in a special pocket in the backpack.  As soon as I found it, Ryan said, "maybe that's our good luck charm".  Heck ya it is!  His grandmother was always so supportive and special and would send us these beautiful cards during all our previous cycles.  This is for sure her looking over us.  She is our guardian angel.  I put the necklace on and wore it to the transfer.  Duncan asked what it was and I told him it was Grandma Rita's and he said "I love you Grandma Rita".  And we do love her very much and feel so special to have her looking out for us.

Lastly I have another pair of lucky socks on.  Todays socks are lemurs.  Lemurs hold a special place in our hearts.  We have a memorial plaque for the baby we lost in front of the lemurs at the San Diego Zoo.  We chose lemurs for two reason.  Their name means angel and because they are vegetarians:)  I always say that Duncan has a very special angel looking out for him.  So when I saw the lemur socks I knew they would be perfect for implantation day.

Ryan and Duncan are enjoying a lovely afternoon in Prague and I'm relaxing in our room.

As always, Thanks for Reading!
HEATHER

x

Follow Up Lab Results

Yesterday we met with the two naturopathic doctors that we have been working with.  Ryan had the day off so he went with me to get my results.  The doctors work in the same office (they are actually married) and I have worked with both so we had the appointment with both of them.  It was nice to get both of their opinions on my lab results and what to do going forward.

The reason for the recent lab work was twofold.  First, we wanted to recheck that all my critical vitamin levels were where the needed to be.  Since I am a vegetarian, I am always worried that my levels aren't where they need to be.  Last year my results came back severely anemic at 12.  I have been working really hard to get that where it needs to be.  Secondly, we did some autoimmune testing and some blood clot testing.  This is more commonly referred to as a miscarriage panel.  Usually if you have 3 miscarriages, your doctor will run it.  Since that is absolutely the last thing we want to happen, we just paid out of pocket for this lab panel.  It cost is about $700.

Our results were great, or maybe I should say par for the course, they didn't show anything wrong with me or anything the doctor would be concerned about.  This also means we have no idea why this isn't working.  By default we are again, undiagnosed and by default that points to egg quality.  But looking at the glass as half full, there is no reason not to hope that it will work this time.  Especially since we have two normal embryos to work with that are waiting for us.

The vitamin/supplements that I looked at were Iron, B12, Vitamin D and looked at my thyroid again.  Everything came back where it should be at except my Vitamin D came back low for the second time in a row.  I was taking 5,000 units, then upped it to 7,000 and now I am going to try taking 10,000.

The most exciting news is that I can start to cut back on the obscene amount of pills that I take.  As I finish off bottles, there will be no reordering for most of them.  Here is what my FET protocol looks like so far:
Medicine
Levothyroxine 75mcg 1 x day  - (I have to run this by my RE to get his approval and for the prescription)
Dexamethasone .75mg per day - I start this steroid once I start the interlipids

Supplements:
B12/B complex
Vitamin D3
Selenium
Probiotics
DHA
Iron
Vitamin C
CoQ10
Vitamin E

And that's it!!  Compared to my prep for ER this is so much more manageable.

Ryan and I are feeling both anxious and nervous.  Ryan is more hopeful than I am.  I am scared for another bout of depression if this fails.  The last BFN did a number on me so it is very hard for me to get too excited.  I'm glad that I have Ryan to think the positive thoughts for both of us.

Thanks for reading,
HEATHER

PS If anyone out there is looking for a naturopathic doctor, I can't recommend these two enough.  They both are very kind and compassionate doctors which is so very important in dealing with infertility.  They also look at things that your RE doesn't even consider.  I just like that they are looking at my whole body and not just my ovaries in order to get EVERYTHING in working order.  Here is their info: http://sandiegonaturalhealth.com/

Next Steps

Although SDFC told us we could jump right into prepping for our transfer, Ryan and I have decided to wait.  I was still feeling the effects of the stims and my period after and IVF is very long and very unpleasant.  We just felt like it would be a better idea to let my body get back to normal before starting to prime for the FET.  For the last few years we have mainly focused on egg and sperm quality.  Now we are switching our focus to implementation.

Between now and our transfer, here is what we are working on;

• The first thing I did was take milk thistle to help push all the drugs out of my system.  My ER was two weeks ago and I am just now feeling back to normal.
• Yoga!!!  I am so excited to be back taking yoga.  I missed it so much.   I go 4-5 times a week faithfully but during my last cycle I put my membership on hold.  I do aerial yoga and I just couldn't do it with a headache and with my stomach.  Now I'm back and loving it.  
• I am going back to see the naturopathic doctor for some new testing and some retesting.  Before I was focusing on egg quality and overall health.  Now I am going to do the miscarriage panel just to make sure I'm not overlooking anything.
• I'm going back to my strict diet.  During my stims I really just stuck with eating gluten free and vegetarian.  Now that I'm feeling better I am back to gluten free, grain free, low sugar and of course vegetarian.

Thanks for reading,

HEATHER