I'm PUPO

It's an infertility term.  It means Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.  It's a weird state of limbo to be in.  Technically if I am pregnant, I would be 6 days pregnant because we transferred 5 day old embryos.  6 days pregnant doesn't mean really anything to my body, however the mind is a power thing.  Every breath almost makes me wonder if I'm pregnant.  Plus a few of the medications I'm on have similar pregnancy side effects.  And on top of that I have some slight cramping, but that's probably just due to the progesterone and the FET procedure itself.  It's still a funny spot to be in though.  Just constantly wondering.  Dealing and living through this so many times, it still never gets any easier.  The wait is always the hardest.
So what to do to pass the time?  Number one this to do is pray.  My Aunt wrote me a prayer and I've read that a few times.  I've also prayed on my own.  Now more than ever is a timenfor faith.
The next thing I do is talk to my babies.  I place my hand below my navel and welcome them home.  Promise to keep them healthy and well fed.  Promise to love them and grow a beautiful home for them.  Aside from that, there are lots of superstitions and good luck charms surrounding the infamous waiting period.  If anything,  it just makes me feel like I'm doing something and somewhat participating in the process.  I eat Brazil nuts daily.  Brazil nuts contain selenium, which is a mineral that helps to thicken the uterine wall, and a healthy lining aids in implantation.  I take selenium pills, but add eating brazil nuts after transfer.  I also eat pineapple.  Pineapple contains bromelain which has anti inflammatory properties that has a natural anti-inflammatory effect.  I eat warm things and drink tea and lay on my back or left side to increase circulation to the uterus and try and sit as little as possible.

Lastly I have some lucky charms.  First off, on our last trip I found a beautiful egg ornament in Hungary that came with a beautiful story about fertility.  It spoke to us immediately and we bought it and carried it with us everywhere,  continued taking it to every prenatal appointment and took Duncans newborn photos with it.  This whole trip I was looking for something to bring us luck and nothing spoke to me.  The day before our transfering, I was putting something in the diaper bag and found a small bag containing a necklace from Ryan's grandmother who recently passed away.  We were at her home recently and Ryan's mother let me choose what I wanted and I choose that.  I thought I had put it with the stemware I also brought back, but it was sealed away in a special pocket in the backpack.  As soon as I found it, Ryan said, "maybe that's our good luck charm".  Heck ya it is!  His grandmother was always so supportive and special and would send us these beautiful cards during all our previous cycles.  This is for sure her looking over us.  She is our guardian angel.  I put the necklace on and wore it to the transfer.  Duncan asked what it was and I told him it was Grandma Rita's and he said "I love you Grandma Rita".  And we do love her very much and feel so special to have her looking out for us.

Lastly I have another pair of lucky socks on.  Todays socks are lemurs.  Lemurs hold a special place in our hearts.  We have a memorial plaque for the baby we lost in front of the lemurs at the San Diego Zoo.  We chose lemurs for two reason.  Their name means angel and because they are vegetarians:)  I always say that Duncan has a very special angel looking out for him.  So when I saw the lemur socks I knew they would be perfect for implantation day.

Ryan and Duncan are enjoying a lovely afternoon in Prague and I'm relaxing in our room.

As always, Thanks for Reading!
HEATHER

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