Results are Chemical Pregnancy

We took a blood test on Wed and our HCG came back at 8.  This is extremely low.  It should have been above 20.  We took another today and it came back at 2.  This is officially classified as a non-viable, chemical pregnancy.  I'm stopping all meds and this journey is officially over.

We are of course devastated by the news. Tears haven't even begun to be shed.  It will take awhile to process, but when I started this blog and this journey, part of the reason was to be open and honest about how insane the roller coaster of emotions all of this can be.  How unfair it all can be.  How everything you do can be the right thing, follow all the protocols, the diets, the appointments, spend all the money and still have negative results.  Infertility is a cruel unfair world and sadly we have seen all this before.  I honestly tried my best and did all I could and still didn't get the results we wanted.

I am heartbroken for my son, who not only lost his twin, but now has lost any chance of having a sibling.  I will hold him closer tonight and am truly thankful for the blessing that he is.  As I am typing this, I'm thinking about what little chance we had to have him in the first place, how high risk our pregnancy was, how we had originally been told we were having a miscarriage, how we had a high chance of losing him when we lost his twin.  I always feel blessed to be his mom, to finally be pregnant and then to finally hold this precious baby boy.  We chose the name Duncan because it means warrior and boy did he fight to be with us.  And now he is lucky enough to have two more guardian angels join in looking over him.  I'm going to hold my little warrior just that much closer tonight and try and focus on what a blessing my guy is.

We will battle through this and come up for air eventually and figure out how to move on from something that has been a part of us for so long.  Thanks for all the love, kindness and support all of you have given us.

Much Love,
HEATHER