Labs Are Back

My labs came back.  This was the last set of bloodwork before we leave.  This was mainly to check if my thyroid was working and to see if the dosage needed adjustment, as well as my vitamin levels, specifically Vitamin D and iron.  Overall everything looked pretty good.  Thyroid was back where it should be at 1.4 so I just continue on my current dose.  Iron was in the normal range but on the low side of that so I added another iron pill, so now I take 4 a day.  Vitamin D was perfect so keeping that where it is.  So still on lots of supplements and prescription meds, but nowhere near as many as I took last time so that's great news.

Budapest

We safely made it to Budapest. We had no issues with security and the duffle bag full of medications and syringes which was good.  We asked our doctor for a travel letter to be on the safe side, but we were fine.

On the plane I traveled with a radiation blocking blanket on my lap. I had heard from my acupuncturist that there is a small chance of that the tiny amount of radiation on a plane collapsing you lining so I wore it just in case. Plus I already owned it. I wear it on my lap at home when I use my laptop.

The only issue we have had in Budapest has been the food. Ryan has found some really great meals but I have been struggling. The first evening we went to a traditional Hungarian restaurant recommended to us by the hotel. I told them I need a vegetarian and gluten free option. They called ahead and the restaurant said they did have something for me but when we got there they didn't. For dinner I had a side salad and my entree was grilled mushrooms in like a cup of olive oil. Tonight we had researched and found the only 100% gluten free restaurant. I was excited to order a veggie burger buy it was really just lettuce and tomatoes between two gf buns. Oh well, more Kind bars for me.

I'm still only on supplements and oral estrodiol, no injections yet so I'm happy.

Thanks for reading,
HEATHER

2WW

The 2WW (two week wait) is the dreaded time after a transfer and before you find out if you are PG or not.  BFN or BFP???  This is by far one of the hardest thing about infertility.  This is now all mental.  I have done all that I can do leading up to this and now I just pray every second of every day that my embryos have decided to snuggle in and stay.

Right now I am still on blood thinners (nightly awful shots), estrogen, progesterone, steroids and vitamins and supplements.  Physically I have some minor cramping that has gone on non-stop since about a week ago but that's about it.

There are other things that I am trying to do to help.  I am on a website message board that is only for people with infertility.  I asked people that got their BFPs what they did on the day of the transfer and what they did during the 2WW.  Here is the combined list of all that research.  Do I really think that eating a brazil nut a day will be the answer to all my problems, probably not, but it sure doesn't hurt and they do taste pretty yummy.

FET & 2WW Protocols

Eat 2 or more brazil nuts every day
No cold foods during 2WW
Room temperature beverages only for 2WW
No raw fruits or veggies for 2WW
When laying down, lay of left side for improved circulation
Acupuncture immediately after before and after transfer
Crew length socks at all times for two weeks
Think happy thoughts

Pray

Eat pineapple core for bromelain 

Eat walnuts

Eat kiwi

Add ginger to water or tea

Add lemon to water or tea

Do not raise heart rate

Do not raise core body temperature

Watch comedies and try to laugh

Walk or swimming is ok as long as it is gentle

Light yoga is okay with modifications

Today's happy socks

Thanks for reading,

HEATHER

2 Days To Go

Today started yet another injection.  Today I started lovenox.  It's a blood thinner and it's an injectable and it is NOT fun.  I have never done this one before. That sucker burns for about 40 minutes.  It feels like pouring rubbing alcohol on a wound but from the inside.  And if all goes well and this works, I will be doing this injection every day for several weeks into the pregnancy.   The reason we are trying a blood thinner this time is because of the results from my miscarriage panel.   Hoping that I get use to this injection pretty quickly.

lovenox, latex free bandage, gauze and alcohol swab

The meds I'm on today are lovenox, steroids (oral medication), antibiotics for both Ryan and I (oral medication), progesterone (really gross suppositories 3 x a day), estrogen (estrogen patches on my stomach) and vitamins and supplements.

Today I also went and got a B12 shots and added vitamin D to it.  Those two fluctuate every time I get blood work and I just wanted to make sure that my levels were nice for the transfer.  A vitamin injection last about a week.  

Physically I am doing ok.  My stomach is slightly bloated and I still gets headaches.  Mainly I am dealing with the mental side effects.  The anxiety and the nerves are pretty intense.  We are getting so close to the finish line and no matter what happens, our lived will be forever changed and that a lot to think about.  We hopefully get pregnant and finally after all this time will fulfill our wish of becoming parents.  If it doesn't work, then that was our last shot and we would have to move on to donor or adoption.

Thanks for reading,
HEATHER

The Next Step is Finally Here

I finally got the all clear from all my doctors and started the next step of the process which is priming for the FET.  I started bcps last tuesday and I got in tomorrow for blood work and an ultrasound.  If everything checks out ok, I will get my calendar for the upcoming FET.

We are going to throw everything we can at this transfer which means doing every procedure, every drug, every supplement and every lifestyle change we can to hope and pray that this one works.

So far I have focused on my fertility focused diet and as much yoga as I can possibly do.  One day I did 3 classes!  I am taking supplements for health, being a vegetarian and for the transfer.  Next I am going to work on the mind part of this.  I just ordered some affirmation cards and I am going to start meditating on a more frequent basis.

As far as how many embryos we will transfer, at the moment we are leaning towards transferring both.  However we are always changing our minds so we still have time to change back to one only.  The final decision has to be made the day before the transfer so we have until then to decide for sure.

Lastly, my mantle of hope has grown a little bigger.  A friend gifted to Ryan and I a rock that says live to help us to remember that our infertility and our struggles don't define us, yes it is a part of who we have become but it isn't the whole part.  We have to remember to LIVE!

And on that happy note, Ryan and I are off to Kauai to celebrate our 5th anniversary, to relax and destress and get ready for our transfer.

Thanks for reading,
HEATHER

Follow Up Lab Results

Yesterday we met with the two naturopathic doctors that we have been working with.  Ryan had the day off so he went with me to get my results.  The doctors work in the same office (they are actually married) and I have worked with both so we had the appointment with both of them.  It was nice to get both of their opinions on my lab results and what to do going forward.

The reason for the recent lab work was twofold.  First, we wanted to recheck that all my critical vitamin levels were where the needed to be.  Since I am a vegetarian, I am always worried that my levels aren't where they need to be.  Last year my results came back severely anemic at 12.  I have been working really hard to get that where it needs to be.  Secondly, we did some autoimmune testing and some blood clot testing.  This is more commonly referred to as a miscarriage panel.  Usually if you have 3 miscarriages, your doctor will run it.  Since that is absolutely the last thing we want to happen, we just paid out of pocket for this lab panel.  It cost is about $700.

Our results were great, or maybe I should say par for the course, they didn't show anything wrong with me or anything the doctor would be concerned about.  This also means we have no idea why this isn't working.  By default we are again, undiagnosed and by default that points to egg quality.  But looking at the glass as half full, there is no reason not to hope that it will work this time.  Especially since we have two normal embryos to work with that are waiting for us.

The vitamin/supplements that I looked at were Iron, B12, Vitamin D and looked at my thyroid again.  Everything came back where it should be at except my Vitamin D came back low for the second time in a row.  I was taking 5,000 units, then upped it to 7,000 and now I am going to try taking 10,000.

The most exciting news is that I can start to cut back on the obscene amount of pills that I take.  As I finish off bottles, there will be no reordering for most of them.  Here is what my FET protocol looks like so far:
Medicine
Levothyroxine 75mcg 1 x day  - (I have to run this by my RE to get his approval and for the prescription)
Dexamethasone .75mg per day - I start this steroid once I start the interlipids

Supplements:
B12/B complex
Vitamin D3
Selenium
Probiotics
DHA
Iron
Vitamin C
CoQ10
Vitamin E

And that's it!!  Compared to my prep for ER this is so much more manageable.

Ryan and I are feeling both anxious and nervous.  Ryan is more hopeful than I am.  I am scared for another bout of depression if this fails.  The last BFN did a number on me so it is very hard for me to get too excited.  I'm glad that I have Ryan to think the positive thoughts for both of us.

Thanks for reading,
HEATHER

PS If anyone out there is looking for a naturopathic doctor, I can't recommend these two enough.  They both are very kind and compassionate doctors which is so very important in dealing with infertility.  They also look at things that your RE doesn't even consider.  I just like that they are looking at my whole body and not just my ovaries in order to get EVERYTHING in working order.  Here is their info: http://sandiegonaturalhealth.com/

Egg Retrieval

Last night we started off by attending a lecture at UCSD about infertility.  We met a few fellow couples from the support group there.  It  was nice to see friendly supportive faces on the night before the ER.  I loaded up on hugs and learned a few new things.  It is amazing to me how quickly protocols change in the infertility world.  An example in our case, our very first IVF was in Nov 2013.  It was a fresh transfer with no genetic testing with two embryos.  Now at the same clinic, they do 80+% frozen transfers and 60+% genetic testing.  Every 2 years it seems like they are learning new things and getting more data to make the changes.  I also learned that one of the universally horrible tests you have to do for your work up is something called an hsg test.  It is done in a hospital and it is very painful.  Not only that, but they use x-rays to look at your tubes which is harmful.  Now they have moved on to a bubble test which is PAIN FREE and done with a sonogram at a doctors office.  AMAZING!

After the lecture we went and got ice cream for the simple reason, because I felt like it :)  A scoop of nutty coconut and I was a happy camper. After ice cream, I cut up the watermelon and ate as much as I could.  I also lit a candle with a baby on it that my grandmother gave me for good luck.  I tried really hard to get some sleep, but I could not relax enough.  My mind was racing with anxiety.

In the morning I woke up and took my final shower with the antibacterial soap.  On a side note, I have nerve damage in my leg and had a neurostimulator implanted back in 2011.  I have to turn that off before any surgery. This always make me so nervous because I forgot about 4 surgeries ago and Ryan had to run home to get my remote before the could start.  I remebered and turned it off and started to feel less anxious.  When I got dressed, I had a silly thought.  I have worn really ugly sweats and IVF pajamas to all my other IVF cycle. My embabies probably think I'm a super dork.  This time I rocked out in one of my favorite band t shirts.  This way they know their Mom is cool and not afraid to go home with us someday.  Ridiculous I know, but we latch on to anything we can to try and help the situation and think positively.  I was such a ball of hyper energy that I decided to go for a walk while Ryan finished getting ready.  When it was time to go, he found me and off we went to the clinic.

We checked in, turned in all our used needles in a sharps container (bye you jerks, never do I want to see you again) and prepared for the ER.  They have a massage chair for when you first check in and that really did help to relax.  Its not as great as the bair paw gowns that RPMG has, but I'll take whatever I can get.  Ryan had to sign a few forms stating that he will be a responsible adult and take care of me over the next 24 hours.  Its nice to see a contract demanding that your husband take care of you.  The nurse and I joked that it includes unlimited foot rubs. Then I had to kiss Ryan goodbye and head into the OR.  I am very happy to report that the watermelon again did the trick and they got my IV going on the very first try.  This is monumental news because this hardly ever happens.

After the ER is over, they tell Ryan all my numbers and then when I wake up he tells me how well we did.  As soon I open my eyes, he comes back and keep me company in the recovery room. I have to take in an IV bag of fluids and then I can go home.  We checked in around 8:15 and we were back home by 11am.

The results of the ER was very promising.  They were able to retrieve 18 follicles.  This is the most we have ever had.  Before this, the most we have had is 15 and the lowest was 7.  Ryan also had great numbers today.  His results were also higher than we have ever had.  I guess all those supplements finally paid off.  However, there is no reason to jump up and down and celebrate yet.  Now we need to hope and pray that they do well and continue to grow in the lab.  We need them to make it to day 5 blasts in order to biopsy them for genetic testing and freeze them for a future FET.  No one gets 100% to make it to day 5 blasts, but we need to hope that we can get as many as possible.  To put this in perspective we have had 3 as the most that have made in and 2 as the least.  We have 2 frozen and banked now.  Statistically I need 6 to get one normal back from the PGS test.  The reason we need 6 is because our odds are less than great since I have had 3 failed FETs so far.  After 3 you automatically drop to a really bad category of basically hopeless cases.  So that means ideally we would need 4 day 5 blasts.  Fingers and toes are crossed, prayers are being sent and all our energy is focused on trying to stay positive and hopeful for our embabies to continue to grow.  I am doing pretty well.  I have serious bloating still and some cramping but that is very normal and to be expected.

Thanks for reading,
HEATHER

Cycle Day 3

Today's symptoms: headache (not as bad as yesterday's), very nauseous, loss of appetite

I probably should have mentioned before that every time I cycle I suffer a huge amount of side effects.  They are not uncommon or rare side effects, but not everyone suffers the same amount or as many of them.  If you are about to cycle for the first time, do not let this scare you, look at it as just a warning of what may happen.

It's not all bad though.  Since this cycle I am going with Ganerelix instead of Lupron, I have 0 weight gain!  YES!!!!  That is pretty exciting.  Usually at this point I have packed on the usual 10 lbs that Lupron is so happy to provide.  Lupron, you are a mean jerk!

Since I shared my vitamin list yesterday, today I thought I would share Ryan's.  Since we have unexplained infertility, we both take everything we possibly can in the hopes that something may help.  There is no data that proves that these will help, but they won't hurt our fertility chances.  

Every night when we sit down for dinner, Ryan grabs this bowl with all his pills. He has been doing this about 6 months now.  He seems to have less allergies and less rashes since he started so I think something is working in the right direction.

Zinc - 60mg - 1xday
Selenium - 200mcg - 1xday
Arginine - 2 - 3xday
Folic Acid - 400 mcg - 1xday
Vitamin C - 200-1000mq - 1xday
Vitamin E - 600mg - 1xday
L-carnitine- 1g three 1xday
CoQ10 - 30-100mg - 1xday
Maca Root - 1.5g 3xday
Astragalus - 1500mg - 3xday

PQQ - 10mg - 1xday

Thanks for reading,

HEATHER

Cycle Day 2

Today's symptoms - Massive horrible headache.  I always get them when I'm on Menopur.  Let me know if you have found any cures because I sure haven't.

Today I woke up with the above mentioned headache which was there when I went to sleep.  Nothing else really exciting to report on Day 2 so I thought I would walk through the hideous amount of vitamins and supplements I take.  Most of these are fertility related but some are from being a vegetarian and some are because I was recently diagnosed with candida.  I was also diagnosed anemia awhile back but that seems to be back to normal levels.

I don't take any vitamins or supplements that contains any ingredient derived from animals.  This can prove to be very challenging.  Finding meds without gelatin is the hardest.  If you too are a vegetarian or vegan, don't hesitate to ask for specific brand names.

First thing in the morning with a glass a water.  No eating or drinking anything else for an hour.
L-Thyroxine (only thyroid medication a vegetarian can take) - 75mg - 1xday

Next up - sometime in the am
Inositol - 4.1g - 2xday

During the rest of the day
Probiotic - with each meal
Digestive enzymes - with each meal

Probiophage DF - 1xday
PharmaGABA - 100mg - 1xday
Milk Thistle drops - 1 ml - 1xday
Chromium - 1 mg  - 2xday
Calcium - 500mg - 1xday
Algae Omega - 625mg - 1xday
Prenatal - 1xday
PQQ - 10mg - 1xday
Aspirin - 81mg - 1xday
B-12 - 2500mcg - 1xday
5 Hydroxy-tryptophan - 100mg - 1xday
L-Arginine - 1g - 1xday
5 MTHF - 1mg - 1xday
CoQ10 - 500mg - 1xday
Basic Nutrients 2/day - 1xday
Bromelain - 1000gdu - 1xday
DHEA - 25mg - 3xday
Vitamin D - 1000iu - 2xday
Oil of Oregano - 460 mg - 1xday
Paleo Greens - 1 scoop - 1xday
Daily C powder - 1 scoop - 1day
Allicin - 5000 mcg - 1day

After dinner
Vitamin E - 400iu - 1xday
Iron - 150mg - 1xday
Vitamin C - 500mg - 1xday
HCL - 400mg - 1xday

Before bed
Melatonin - 1mg - 1xday

Thanks for reading,
HEATHER