Physically, I've been better. After the whole ordeal yesterday, I have lots of bruises and my wrist and right arm have really big swollen areas. That's a new fun side effect. Ugh. Plus one of the adhesives on a bandage caused a reaction (this is pretty common with me now) so I also basically want to scratch my skin off. So that's super fun! Another Ugh :( I received an email from my coordinator stating that they received my test results and my progesterone is very low. The doctor said that was ok and gave me a protocol that I will start tomorrow. This includes 4 vaginal suppositories three times a day and 1 pill taken orally. It's about as fun as it sounds. The number of pills I'm taking is really starting to add up now.
Emotional I'm feeling a bit drained. The weight of the situation is starting to really make it's way into my head space. While I am so fortunate to have Duncan and feel so grateful, I would love to give him a sibling. Especially because he comes from a donor, I feel like they would just have such a wonderful bond and story to share And if this doesn't work, I won't be able to. I want him to know how hard I tried when someday he will read this. Whether it works or not, I sure did try my hardest. Somedays I feel stronger and braver than others. I mean I did fly halfway around the world, deplete our entire savings at one point, all on a wing and a prayer that some Russian doctor in the Czech would somehow give me a child. It's such a crazy idea and even crazier that it worked. Other days I feel like I could just lay in bed and cry all day and feel sorry for myself. Life just isn't fair sometimes and what we have been though in order to conceive is beyond ridiculous. On top of that, I still grieve the loss of Duncan's twin on a pretty regular basis. Opening myself up to getting pregnant again, also opens up all the fears of dealing with loss again. I can describe my emotions as a roller coaster combination of them all. I really do appreciate and feel all the love and support everyone of you back home are sending our way. On the crappier days or worse feeling moments, its been helpful to remember how many of you are cheering us on. And maybe in those less strong moment I can lean on others for strength and I thank you for that.
While traveling with our 2 year old has been difficult, it has also been a very welcoming distraction. Today was all about him. I found this amazing place in Brno called the Brno Family Park. It was an indoor play space that was literally the coolest thing ever. It had trampolines, giant inflatables, ball pits, air hockey, two story slides, giant blocks, obstacle courses, bumper cars, bumper boats and a whole upstairs play area just for kids under 4 that had it's own ball pit, play kitchen, 2 story life size doll house and a giant inflatable octopus. When we first got there, he didn't even know where to go, he just ran from things to thing. We were there about 4 hours and all of us laughed and had fun. The best part was that it was about $5 a person. If for some reason you ever find yourself in Brno with a kiddo in tow, go here!
We then made our way to Weiner Newstadt in Austria. We found some grass for him to run in, went for a long walk around the neighborhood 0and then found a huge park on the way back. It had about 5 different play structures. He loved it. We made our way back to the room and it was lights out around 9pm. Fingers crossed he sleeps until morning. The only real major bummer is this is the part of the trip where vegan/gluten free is non-existent so it was crackers and peanuts for lunch and two granola bars for dinner for me. Same thing happened last time, so I was prepared, but that still doesn't make it fun. Signing off and hoping to get some sleep myself. Love to you all and thanks again for all the love and support!
We then made our way to Weiner Newstadt in Austria. We found some grass for him to run in, went for a long walk around the neighborhood 0and then found a huge park on the way back. It had about 5 different play structures. He loved it. We made our way back to the room and it was lights out around 9pm. Fingers crossed he sleeps until morning. The only real major bummer is this is the part of the trip where vegan/gluten free is non-existent so it was crackers and peanuts for lunch and two granola bars for dinner for me. Same thing happened last time, so I was prepared, but that still doesn't make it fun. Signing off and hoping to get some sleep myself. Love to you all and thanks again for all the love and support!
Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER
HEATHER
