Yesterday was transfer day. All went well. Here are the details of the day.
We woke up and had breakfast in the hotel. Them I went upstairs to the clinic for my blood draw. I had 3 nurses attend based on what happened last time. I'm happy to report that it only took one poke and in the forearm. I was in and out in 10 min. That was a huge relief.
We then continued our photo taking quest from the day before. We visited Thomas Bata University, the college where our donor attended. We found a very small book store that sold shirts and sweatshirts, but none in Duncan's size. They did however sell a beach ball so we were able to purchase something. We then walked to a farmers market that we had found the last time we were here and took pictures there as well. Duncan was happy to find a guy selling popcorn. Lastly we walked over to the oldest house in town which we had also discovered the last time we were here. The one thing we found this time, that we missed last time was the main square. Obviously its very small. We had walked on the street in front of it last time. It had several shops, cafes and coffee shops. We wandered around there taking more pictures until it was time for my appointment.
Next up was our appointment with embryology and with Anna our coordinator. She is the English speaking contact we have and has been a huge help through the process both times. I was so excited for Duncan to meet her. Without exaggeration, I bet I've exchanged at least 500 emails with her if not more. She was our life line through all of this. We brought her a gift as a thank you and it was so very sweet to have Duncan give it to her. I asked if she would hold him so I could take a photo of them together and I got some really great ones.
We then got down to business.
OUR EMBRYOS SURVIVED THE THAW!!!! They both started hatching right before the time of transfer.
I only have a dark and grainy photo. I'm going to ask for a better one tomorrow and see if they took any other pictures. But who cares, our little embryos awoke and started growing and that's the first huge step. I also got my progesterone numbers back and they were 131. No need to change any medication so just going to stay on our current protocol until I go for more blood work.
After our meeting, Duncan and Ryan had to go. They wouldn't be allowed in for transfer and it was lunchtime anyways so they headed off. Anna gave Duncan a big kiss on the cheek and he said goodbye. I hugged and kissed both my guys and they left in search of a park and lunch.
They don't offer acupuncture here so I was unable to get treatment before or after transfer which is what I would do back home. At the wellness center they did offer a head and shoulder massage. I thought that would be a good idea before the transfer. That was a big mistake. There was nothing wrong with the massage, but I was just a ball of nerves and it made it so very hard to lay still. It was almost torture more than relaxing. Finally it was over and I could move around.
I went back to the room to get ready for transfer. They ask that you wear just a shirt and then your robe and slippers. I put on my dream big socks and headed to transfer.
They have a waiting room you sit in before transfer that is a room with a few beds. I waited in that room for about 45 minutes. There was one lady before me. It was nice to have some extra time alone. I sat down and listened to a few short guided meditations. Then I did a bunch of squats and sit ups and then some yoga poses and finally some stretching. This all really helped calm me down.
Finally it was my turn. They escorted me into the operating room. There were two nurses. One doing the work and another one to translate what was going on in English. Then the doctor came in and we went over what was going to happen. Confirmed that we were transfering two and using Embryoglue. Then the embryologist cane in and introduced herself. That's when she informed me that they both had started to hatch and said she would show me on the monitor. She left and went into the lab and shortly after, on the monitor were these two gorgeous embryos. It brought tears to my eyes to see them. I then laid back, feet up and the transfer began. The only thing different this time from all the other times is the embryologist participated in transferring the embryos. The doctor set everything up and then she came back with the pipette containing our embryos. She was the one to actual place them. Then she left to confirm they were both gone and the pipette was empty, which it was. She then said good luck, squeezed my hand and left. The doctor also wished me well and left. Then the two nurses wheeled my gurney back into my room. There was a small mishap where they took a corner too close and knocked a chunk of drywall off. Both Ryan and Duncan think this is hilarious and laugh every time they pass it. They then transferred me to my bed and instructed me to lay still for an hour. It's a lot easier to do that in your own bed than in the uncomfortable bed with stirrups that usually happens. So I laid back and watched the latest Kevin Hart standup. It was the perfect mindless activity. Shortly after I took a nap. I laid in bed the rest of the afternoon and evening as I have now entered the bed rest position of all this. The boys shared a burger for dinner and I again indulged in peanuts and a granola bar. We all went to bed shortly after. Now just hoping and praying for a successful implantation. Stick babies stick!
Now it is August 1st and I'm drawn back to the keyboard trying to find a way to deal with all the feelings. All I know is that I am tired of feeling sad and angry all the time. So I am calling August my month of gratitude. Years ago I was so defeated that I never even thought I would have a baby. Then during my pregnancy, the horrible shock of having to say goodbye to one baby and faced with the threat of losing the other, I prayed every day that I would someday get to hold him in my arms and see his smiling face. Well here I sit and I am blessed with love and laughter every day and at least for August I am going to try and focus on that. While I will never get over losing our other baby, I am tasking myself with finding a way to mother the best that I can and find a way to bring that baggage along for the ride that isn't detrimental to either of us. After all we did name him Duncan because it means fighter and boy did he fight to join us Earth side and be a part of our lives. So now I fight to show him that we can cry sometimes, but that we can also pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and find the good out there. When I first started writing this blog it was for myself, I needed to find a way to express how I was feeling. Then I decided to write it for others that didn't have their voice yet. So many folks battling infertility fight it alone. But, now I write it for him. I want him to know his story and how much I loved him for years before we ever met. My goal is to get this printed and bound for him. And just like with our journey, we needed an end point, a time to say we did our best and did all we could, this blog also needs an endpoint. This is just one of the ways I can hope to find that magical mysterious thing called closure. So I'll end this in gratitude to my dear son.
