So here we are, back at it again. We have two embryos left from our previous cycle so we are moving forward to try for a sibling. To catch you up, or for those that didn't follow our other blog that continued on from here once we became pregnant, on Dec 29th 2016 we welcomed our son into the world. However, our pregnancy, wasn't the happy wonderful time in our lives that we had hoped for. We found out we were pregnant with twins early on. Then we were told we were about the miscarry one and possibly both and were put on immediate and strict bedrest. Then we pulled through and held on to both babies. Then at 12 weeks and 5 days, we found out that baby B had serious issues, his organs were all formed outside of his ribs. (I refer to him as a he, but we were never able to confirm gender) This meant he wouldn't survive outside of my belly for much more than a few hours at best and they started talking to us about palliative care. We were then told that he was 'breathing' toxins into the amniotic fluid and that with each breath, he was causing harm to baby A. We were faced with the horrible task of having to say goodbye too early. But of course this also faced issues. The procedure done had a high chance of effecting baby A as well, but by doing nothing, there posed an even higher risk of losing both babies. So on June 25th, at 13 weeks and 1 day, we said good bye to Baby B and hoped and prayed that Baby A would survive. Baby A did survive, but part of me didn't. I will never ever forget that day, that procedure, that doctor, it is my forever nightmare. My entire 39 weeks of pregnancy, I was on bedrest or restricted activity for all but 5 weeks. So to say the least, it was awful. I will always have a hole in my heart and a little bit of my soul that feels incomplete. I mourn my baby often. There aren't a lot of words to explain the pain I feel. I should have two babies, my son should have his brother, but we don't and I've had to figure out a way to continue on for him. It took a lot of therapy and a lot of tears and I still feel like it happened yesterday.
The last thing I want to do is live through another pregnancy, it was by far the worst time of my life. And I thought trying to get pregnant was awful, but losing our baby was about as low as I have ever felt. So why are we doing this again????? Because I feel like I owe it to my son to at least try for a sibling. I have a brother and I had so much fun growing up with him, and while only children are fine, I just would love my son to have a sibling. Reason number 2 is that we already created these embryos. They are just waiting for us and the opportunity at life. They deserve a chance.
So like I started out this blog, here we are again. Our last cycle was the only time I became pregnant in 6 1/2 years of treatments so we are going to duplicate that cycle. That means that step 1 is a d&c in order to create a new and fresh uterine lining. I will be put under anesthesia, but it will be a simple procedure. We will be doing that in January. In the meantime I am going to put some focus on getting my body baby ready. That means a trip to the naturopath and lots of trips to the gym as well on some mental health steps to wrap my head around gearing up for this. Even though we will be a nervous wreck if it does work, we would love more than anything for it to work. However, this is our one and only shot at it. We will be transferring both embryos and so its a one and done situation, either it works or it doesn't. So we are hoping and praying for it to work and to be able to give our son a sibling. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we embark on this journey because we will need all the support we can get.
Welcome to our journey of round 2!
Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER
So like I started out this blog, here we are again. Our last cycle was the only time I became pregnant in 6 1/2 years of treatments so we are going to duplicate that cycle. That means that step 1 is a d&c in order to create a new and fresh uterine lining. I will be put under anesthesia, but it will be a simple procedure. We will be doing that in January. In the meantime I am going to put some focus on getting my body baby ready. That means a trip to the naturopath and lots of trips to the gym as well on some mental health steps to wrap my head around gearing up for this. Even though we will be a nervous wreck if it does work, we would love more than anything for it to work. However, this is our one and only shot at it. We will be transferring both embryos and so its a one and done situation, either it works or it doesn't. So we are hoping and praying for it to work and to be able to give our son a sibling. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we embark on this journey because we will need all the support we can get. 