Day 6 - Krems an der Donau -> Cesky Krumlov

So the pills are starting to really hit my system and some side effects are kicking in now like nausea and light headedness,  but that's really all about the quantity that I'm taking more than anything.  My wrist is still really sore which is just making me really anxious knowing that I have to do another blood test in a few days.  Stomach is still sore.  And now I have the added fun of progesterone suppositories.  They give you cramps so that's fun.  Overall though I'm not getting any migraines and I'm very thankful for that.  That's usually the response my body takes to these meds so I'm really happy not to have to deal with that.
The vacation portion of the trip is going well.  Duncan hasn't slept through the night yet, but it's getting better every day.
Today we awoke in Krems and had breakfast at our hotel.  They had a gluten free roll and I was so happy to have it.  After breakfast we made out way to another winery.  Again it was appointment only so we had the whole place to ourselves.   They asked if we wanted to taste inside or outside and we chose outside so Duncan could play.  He brought his toy excavator and there was a small pile of dirt in the back area so that was enough to keep him entertained for the hour we were there.  We did the 12 wine tasting for €15, emptying most of it out because I don't like to drink before a transfer and because Ryan was driving.  It was still a lot of fun though tasting all these different wines. About half I had never had before. It was very special and high up on cool winery moments we have had. 
After that we drove through small town after small town.  They all follow the Danube and the views are gorgeous.  We eventually made our way to Melk to visit the famous Melk Abbey.  We toured as much as we could without going on the official tour because that would have been torture for Duncan.  So he just ran around and we saw what we could.  The boys had pizza for lunch and I had a well balanced lunch of an apple, peanuts and a granola bar from our car stash.  We then headed to the castle Scholls Schallaburg.  As soon as we entered the parking lot, Dyncan fell asleep.  We thought about going in, but decided to pass, let him nap and get to our next city sooner.
Our next stop was Cesky Krumlov.  We reached it about 5pm.  Here we rented a 2 bedroom apartment through Airbnb, which I had never used before.  We picked it because it had a washer and dryer and we would be able to do laundry halfway through the trip so we wouldn't have to pack as much.  Since Duncan uses me as a human napkin, it's nice to have a set of clean clothes again.  We played it mellow tonight.  I had researched and found an actual vegetarian restaurant in town.  Ryan agreed to get food to go and bring it back.  The restaurant owner bought Ryan a beer while he was waiting for his food so that put a big old smile on his face.  We did laundry, ate dinner, took long hot baths and played with kinetic sand until we all went to bed.  It was nice to take a break and just relax for a night.  Plus we have a full schedule tomorrow so enjoyed some relaxing time.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Day 5 Weiner Newstadt->Krems an der Donau

Day 5 was much better.  The additional progesterone pill isnt too bad and no real side effects.  I'm tolerating the addition iron pill as well.  It just makes for a lot of pills.  I would say I'm up to approximately 20 pills now.

  The only real side effect I'm feeling is with the addition of prednisone,  my appetite has increased.  Which again makes it tough in the land of sausages and pretzels.  My wrist is still very swollen and has a huge bruise.  And because it's on my wrist, I move it a lot so I feel it a lot.  The skin irritation where the reaction from the adhesive was has also gone away so the itchiness has also left.  The main thing I'm dealing with is the bruising from the shots.  I'm still icing it like normal,  but it doesnt seem to be working as well this time around.  I'll spare you any photos, but my stomach is now a collection of various sized and colored bruises.  Its makes for a very tender abdomin and slight discomfort when I'm sitting.  Lastly, for those that don't know, as the result of a car accident years ago, I suffer from nerve damage in my leg.  It usually is treated with an internal device that sends relectrical pulses from my nerves to my brain to stop the pain.  I had to turn that off and the pain is slowly starting to come back.  I dealt with this last time so it wasn't unexpected,  it's just not fun.
Emotionally I feeling better and in a better head space.  Thanks again for the outpouring of support.  It's always wonderful to know I have a great tribe looking out for us.
We are now in full vacation mode until we head back on the 8th.  I have a full itinerary to keep us busy.  We are basically driving along the north countryside of Austria and then making a circle and driving across the Czech Republic.

Today we hit the coolest amusement park in Austria.  It was called Family Park and it was just a perfect day.  Zero crowds and the weather was lovely.  Duncan was the perfect age to take here.  Almost everything he could ride as long as we accompanied him.  We spent the majority of the day there.

At Nigl winery

In the late afternoon we headed to the Austrian wine region of Wachau.  Here it is different than tasting at home. Every single winery is by appointment only.  I read an article in Travel & Leisure about where to taste and booked us a 4pm tasting at a winery called Nigl.  It was awesome. Really very different from wine tasting in California.  The wines were ok, but it was really the experience that was amazing.  After wine tasting we ended up in Krems an der Donau were we stayed at a lovely little hotel.  We went for a walk, did some window shopping and then found a restaurant that I had researched that had some vegan options.  Food was just ok, but I was glad to get a meal.  We got the food to go and ate it in the courtyard of our hotel which had just enough grass to keep Duncan occupied and burned off some energy before bed.  Tomorrow we are off to another city with hopefully just as much good times in store for us.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Day 4 Bruno->Weiner Newstadt

Well today was better than yesterday so we are headed in a good direction.  Duncan woke again at 1am, but was back to sleep by 2am.  Hopefully this is also swinging in the right direction.  As a family, we all slept a bit longer because we all needed it.  Yesterday was really tough on everyone. Oh and plus I forgot to mention it was Ryan's birthday.  Definitely not the most fun birthday.  We will have to have a redo to make up for that one at some point. 

Physically, I've been better.  After the whole ordeal yesterday, I have lots of bruises and my wrist and right arm have really big swollen areas.  That's a new fun side effect.  Ugh.  Plus one of the adhesives on a bandage caused a reaction (this is pretty common with me now) so I also basically want to scratch my skin off.  So that's super fun!  Another Ugh :(  I received an email from my coordinator stating that they received my test results and my progesterone is very low.  The doctor said that was ok and gave me a protocol that I will start tomorrow.  This includes 4 vaginal suppositories three times a day and 1 pill taken orally.  It's about as fun as it sounds.  The number of pills I'm taking is really starting to add up now.

Emotional I'm feeling a bit drained.  The weight of the situation is starting to really make it's way into my head space.  While I am so fortunate to have Duncan and feel so grateful, I would love to give him a sibling.  Especially because he comes from a donor, I feel like they would just have such a wonderful bond and story to share  And if this doesn't work,  I won't be able to.  I want him to know how hard I tried when someday he will read this.  Whether it works or not, I sure did try my hardest.  Somedays I feel stronger and braver than others.  I mean I did fly halfway around the world, deplete our entire savings at one point, all on a wing and a prayer that some Russian doctor in the Czech would somehow give me a child.  It's such a crazy idea and even crazier that it worked.  Other days I feel like I could just lay in bed and cry all day and feel sorry for myself.  Life just isn't fair sometimes and what we have been though in order to conceive is beyond ridiculous.  On top of that, I still grieve the loss of Duncan's twin on a pretty regular basis.  Opening myself up to getting pregnant again, also opens up all the fears of dealing with loss again.  I can describe my emotions as a roller coaster combination of them all.  I really do appreciate and feel all the love and support everyone of you back home are sending our way.  On the crappier days or worse feeling moments, its been helpful to remember how many of you are cheering us on.  And maybe in those less strong moment I can lean on others for strength and I thank you for that.

While traveling with our 2 year old has been difficult,  it has also been a very welcoming distraction.  Today was all about him.  I found this amazing place in Brno called the Brno Family Park.  It was an indoor play space that was literally the coolest thing ever.  It had trampolines,  giant inflatables, ball pits, air hockey, two story slides, giant blocks, obstacle courses, bumper cars, bumper boats and a whole upstairs play area just for kids under 4 that had it's own ball pit, play kitchen, 2 story life size doll house and a giant inflatable octopus.  When we first got there, he didn't even know where to go, he just ran from things to thing.  We were there about 4 hours and all of us laughed and had fun.  The best part was that it was about $5 a person.  If for some reason you ever find yourself in Brno with a kiddo in tow, go here!
We then made our way to Weiner Newstadt in Austria.  We found some grass for him to run in, went for a long walk around the neighborhood 0and then found a huge park on the way back.  It had about 5 different play structures.  He loved it.  We made our way back to the room and it was lights out around 9pm.  Fingers crossed he sleeps until morning.  The only real major bummer is this is the part of the trip where vegan/gluten free is non-existent so it was crackers and peanuts for lunch and two granola bars for dinner for me.  Same thing happened last time, so I was prepared,  but that still doesn't make it fun.  Signing off and hoping to get some sleep myself.  Love to you all and thanks again for all the love and support!

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Day 3 Intralipids. Zlin->Brno

Day 3 is described as DIFFICULT and that is putting it mildly.  Poor Duncan is just all over the place with sleep and the time difference really hit him hard.  So Day 3 started at 1am when he woke up just upset.  He didn't calm down until 3am and didn't sleep until 5am.  Needless to say, we were all very tired and not in the best of moods.
We ate breakfast in the hotel and went back to the room to reorganize and pack up. I ran into another couple that spoke English and was there with their 3 year old.  Him and Duncan played for a bit while we chatted and shared our experiences.
Then at 11 it was time for my intralipid infusion IV treatment.   Intralipid is a sterile fat emulsion.  The active ingredient in Intralipid is soya oil. Soya oil consists of a mixture of mainly polyunsaturated fatty acids. It also contains egg lecithin as an emulsifier, which is isolated from egg yolk.  The theory is that it helps women who have had recurrent miscarriage, multiple failed IVF cycles or multiple failed IUI cycles. Intralipids deactivate natural killer cells in a woman’s body which may prevent embryos from implanting and growing properly in the uterus. We have done intralipids with two transfers, one at SDFC with our two normal PGS tested embryos that resulted in a BFN and then again here in Czech with my last pregnancy.   The science goes back and forth on it if it actually helps, but the good thing is it either helps or does nothing, but it doesnt have any negative risks, so we keep trying it. Ryan and Duncan escorted me back and then left to check out of the room and go play at a park downstairs.  
As I mentioned in a previous blog post, the state of my veins are not good.  After living with infertility for so long, and having so many blood tests done,  I have developed scar tissue in my veins.  About 3 times ago, the phlebotomist mentioned it would soon be an issue and the 2 times after that it was increasing harder to draw blood.  Well lucky me, it all culminated today and it became an issue. I was in a room, laying down on a cot and it started with 2 nurses.  I'll spare the awful details, but it concluded with 5 nurses, 1 doctor, 5 attempts in 4 different places and finally 1 IV in my wrist. This was very painful and on top of all that, took every single ounce of energy I had, not to pass out. What should have been a 45 min IV, now became a 2 hour IV because they had to use a smaller vein. 

Finally it was over and they came to remove the IV.  The nurse doing that part didn't speak any English.  She took out the IV and I'm guessing told me to put pressure on it in Czech,  which I didn't and next thing I knew she turned around so I thought she was done and I went sit up and blood just started flowing.  That just about did me in right then and there.  Luckily I was already in a bed so I just laid back down.  She turned back from her paperwork, saw what happened and cleaned me up and rebandaged me and said to wait in bed.  Another nurse came in that did speak English.  At first I thought she was there to see if I was OK.  But then she told me my next appointment was in another room.  I assumed this was for my blood results.  Well it wasn't, it was to take more blood.  See I thought they drew the blood before they hooked up the IV.  Remember I can't watch and they don't speak English this came as a shock.  After all I just went through, I now had to try and give blood.  At that moment, my weakness and fear crept in and I lost it and just started crying.  I asked it I could go back and lay down and do the blood draw back there.  The nurse then realized I was crying and called for back up.  Now a team of nurses were back with me.  4 to be exact.  1 kept saying sorry and the others only spoke Czech.  They decided to go back in through the wrist again and this pain was even worse than the last time, but at least it was very quick.  One nurse kept stroking my hair and another nurse held my hand. They were very sweet and really tried hard to comfort me.  I was just wrapped up in emotions and it all came out at that moment. Being so far from home, being alone it just got the best if me.  They sat me up and gave me a big group hug and tried to show me that it will all be ok even though they didn't know the words.  I will remember their kindness forever.  One of the nurses spotted Duncan outside and opened the window and told me to come over to see my boy. 

That stopped the tears and brought me back to some peace and strength.  Sometimes we just push through the tears and do what we have to do. Dealing with infertility isn't easy and some days are harder than others.  Mark this as a difficult day.
I then met with a doctor who added an additional progesterone pill to the mix.  So in two days I will start the transfer protocol.  The clinic has it's own pharmacy so I grabbed the pills and we headed out.  On a more exciting note, there was a TV behind the reception desk and they were playing Octo Hiity.  I am now officially obsessed with their music television.  It's amazing! 

We left Zlin and headed to Brno.  I had intended for us to visit a science center, but because everything took so long, we didn't have enough time.  So instead we went for a stroll around the city center.  There was a cute farmers market outside our hotel so we stopped and got fresh strawberries, tomatoes marinated in garlic and basil and caper berries. We snacked on those and walked for a bit.  The last time we were here I was on bedrest and never left the room so it was nice to finally see the city.  Before we left, I had found a Thai restaurant that had vegetarian and gluten free choices.  I had fried rice with veggies and Ryan had pad thai.  It was delicious.  On the way back to our room, we stumbled upon a stage with live music.  It was a rock band singing loud and in Czech.  Duncan loved it.  After each song, he said "more music". So we sat there and listened and slowly this metal band put my son to sleep. In his early days Metallica used to do the trick and I just love my little rocker dude and his love of music.  I took a slightly longer route home to window shop and try and discover a bit of the city.  Todays ordeal still weighed heavy on my mind so it was nice to just be casual and walk.  We landed back in the room and made for a quick good night.  
Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

Day 2 Prague->Kutna Hora->Zlin

I'll jump to the best part of the day first.  In the afternoon we made it to the clinic and I met with a doctor and had an ultrasound check.  Because we used miles to travel, we had few options on which day we left and that meant we were traveling on a day that I needed to have my lining checked and checking it at home would have been too early to matter.  Last time I did that back in the States but this time I didn't have any checks until we got here.  I was a but nervous that they would find something to screw things up, but my check went wonderfully.

• Lining measured 11.8.  This was wonderful news.  You want your lining to be a 7 or better.
• No cysts.  If they find one, it could cancel the cycle because the cyst feeds off of the same hormones you need for the embryo to implant and grow.  My uterus is still squeaky clean!
• No follicles are growing on either side.  That means the drugs are working and everything looks good for transfer.
• They checked my c section scar and gave the ok to transfer 2.  Our doctor in the US also did that and said my scar looked great, but this was a final check here that they needed to do.

In the morning I will go for my infusion and blood draw to determine my next medication schedule.  This is all great stuff and made me feel so much better to cross this off the list and move forward.  Ok so now I can tell you all about the rest of our day, but wanted to share all that good stuff first.

After a rough go of it getting Duncan to go to sleep, once he was asleep, he slept like an angel.  Ryan went and got our rental car and I reorganized our things and got us all ready all while he slept.  We loaded up the car and headed to our first stop.  We decided on Kutna Hora to break up the long ride to Zlin. As soon as we made it onto the freeway, we found a radio station called Rock Zone and Motley Crue's new song The Dirt came on.  I take this as a very good sign. Kutna Hora is about an hour and a half outside of Prague.  It is a small city with quaint curvy cobblestone streets.  Duncan learned the hard way that he can't run on them like he does at home and feel and scraped his hand.  We went to St. Barbara's Church.  It was beautiful on the inside, but we were short on time and had to skip the full inside tour.  We had time for one thing there so we choose to go to a chocolate museum and chocolate shop.  She said the museum was the worlds smallest.  It was really just a room in the back of the store, but it was filled with artifacts and information.  She gave us a brief history of the company, which at one time made over 5, 000 types of candies and chocolates, but then enter Nazi's and WWII and they were taken over and ruined. Recently they reopened as a small batch company and does everything on a much smaller scale.  After the museum, of course we had to buy and sample chocolate.  Duncan has had chocolate in things before, but this was the first time he has ever had a chocolate bar.  At first taste, he declared "I like it, I like it"!  We bought dark chocolate with cacao nibs, plain milk chocolate, white chocolate with cocoa nibs and dark chocolate with ginger.  All were pulled from a bag and pieces were broken off and weighed.  It was a great experience.  Then we walked for a bit and then had to leave to head to Zlin.

Zlin was about a 3 hour car ride away.  We all piled in the car and choose to eat granola bars and other car snacks instead of a proper lunch.  Duncan lasted about 1 hour and then fell asleep for the rest of the ride and I joined him soon after.

Next stop, Zlin.  We arrived about 10 minutes before my appointment and Duncan was still asleep. Ryan stayed with him in the car and I went upstairs.  It is very surreal being back here.  Walking through those doors, it all came flooding back.  I was so nervous last time.  There was a wall with baby pictures on it and I remember praying that one day I would have a photo on that wall.  Now I'm returning and I have a 2 year old in tow with me outside.  Just a flood of all the feels as I walked inside.  On our last trip out here, we became obsessed with a TV channel called Octo Gold.  It was a Czech version of a music television channel, but everything was from the seventies and it was amazing.  The music, the clothes the make up, all fantastically amazing eye candy in a it's so bad it's great kind of way.  Well I walked in and they had on their TV in the waiting room, Octo Star and it was just as glorious.

This made me laugh and immediately made me relax and smile.  I sent Ryan a screenshot of it as he was stuck in the parking lot with our sleeping babe in the car.

After my appointment,  Duncan was still asleep, so we piled back in the car and drove to an old castle that is about 20 min outside of town called Hrad Malenovice.  He still was asleep when we got there so we each took turns walking around.  He woke up right as we were leaving so we got him out and let him run around a bit. Then we piled back in and headed to dinner.

At Hrad Malenovice with a view of Zlin behind me

I had researched and found a restaurant in town that had vegan and gluten free options.  It did not disappoint and for those that dont know, finding anything vegan in CZ is a herculean task so to find one in Zlin was amazing.  It wasn't all vegan, but had several choices for me.  I devoured my grilled tempeh Asian salad because I'm not sure when I'll have more food like this in the next week or so.  Ryan had a peanut chicken salad and what I absolutely loved was that the choices off the kids menu were grilled chicken or grilled salmon, not mac n cheese or friend chicken fingers.  It was actual good food, not crap, but just smaller portions.  Duncan was served a grilled piece of salmon, on potato puree and a spring salad. He ate every single bite.  We also decided to have some drinks. Ryan had a pint of Bernard beer.  I had a glass of house made mulled wine and I ordered Duncan a grapefruit lemonade which I could opt for no sugar added.  It was basically, dried grapefruit, lemon, mint, strawberries and sparkling water.  He was a fan.  We then found a small patch of grass and let him run around to burn some energy before heading back to the room.

In the morning we will have breakfast at the hotel and then I head to my next appointment.  Oh and we celebrate another trip around the sun for my husband.  What better way to say happy birthday than a trip to a fertility clinic in Zlin :)

Thanks for Reading,

HEATHER 

Day 1

Day 1 has not much to report.  It was a very long travel day.  We started off a bit stressed though.  My dad took us to the airport in our car. We hopped out, grabbed out suitcases and said goodbye.  Made it to the ticket counter and realized we left the car seat in the car.  Emergency phone call to him to come back and we paced outside until he got there.  Hopefully we got our mistake out the way early on this trip because it's always something.  We left San Diego at almost 9pm at night.  I wasn't sure how this would turn out, but it worked great.  Duncan was so excited to be on the plane,  he was having the best time.  I hit up my local Buy Nothing group so he had a few new to him cars and trucks for the flight that kept him busy for a bit.  Then they served dinner pretty quick and that helped.  He also doesn't get any screen time at home and was over the moon excited to watch TV on the plane.  They have a kids channel and on there they had old school Tom & Jerry cartoons.  He kept saying "what are they doing" and laughing really hard.  He then quickly made himself at home on my side and slept the rest of the 10 hour flight. Me not so much because there just isnt enough room for both of us. 

I tried laying on my side, but that just put me on top of a very hard piece of plastic, buy hey at least he slept.  I ended up sitting up and watched the Girl in the Spiders Web, which was awful by the way, but nice to relax and veg out and watch a movie. Ryan slept a lot which was nice for him too.  Duncan only woke when I had to put him back on his side and buckle him up.  So the first long flight was great.  Then we ended up having about a 5 hour layover in London.  This too wasn't bad.  They have a kids lounge in the British Airways lounge that was full of toys to keep him busy.  The last flight had a lot of fussing because he was just exhausted.  He wanted to be held and was mad that he had to sit in his own seat.  A few meltdowns on the short 2 hours to Prague, but nothing terrible.  We booked a hotel right at the airport because we landed at 11pm.  Wanted to just pop over and grab some sleep before we head out in the am. We checked in and that's when the real meltdown happened.  He was just way over tired.  He kept saying he wanted to go home, this bed is weird and he is all done.  Wanted to read books and not sleep.  He didn't end up falling asleep until about 3am.  I'm writing this at 6am wide awake.  He is still asleep.
Today we have a quick stop in Kutna Hora just to break up the drive.  Then on to Zlin for a 2:30pm meeting with my doctor and an ultrasound to check on my lining.  There is always a fear that the small amount of radiation on a plane can collapse your lining so here is to thick numbers. And an uneventful 4 hour drive today to the clinic.

Thanks for Reading,
HEATHER

PS - if you want to communicate with us while we are gone,  I opted not to pay for a plan on my phone, but Ryan has one on his phone.  So you can text him, email either of us, use fb messenger for me or What's App for either of us. Basically just don't text me because I won't see it.

Last Workout Before We Go & IV Vitamin

We leave tonight so I was able to squeeze in one more workout before we go.  The goal of this was overall better health, but specifically to lose weight.  I wanted to go into this one carrying less extra weight than the first time around. The goal was to lose 20 lbs in 4 months.

Well I did it!!!!! Today's weigh in results was that I'm down 21lbs from when I started.  I literally and figuratively worked my butt off!  I feel great and it's always wonderful to accomplish a goal.  I always eat pretty healthy, but portion control and snacking was definitely higher than it should ve so I really cut back.  Then I hired a personal trainer and worked out at least 3 times a week, twice with her and once on my own and added a yoga class or two when I could and some Zumba on Sundays. I am super pleased with my results and happy to start off so positive.

  The very last thing I did before we left was an IV therapy treatment.  I did this last time as well.  I chose what is called a fast bag, specifically the immunity bag.  It's an IV drip full of vitamin C, vitamin b12, vitamin by and vitamin D (I think, but don't

Orange bag is my IV drip

remember for sure). It's at a place in Solana Beach.  You go in a room and they hook you up to the IV.  Takes about 20 min for the whole process.  My iron is still lower than I would have liked so the extra vitamin C will help raise my iron levels because it helps with absorption. 

Thanks for reading,

HEATHER